Monday, 23 August 2010


from the borders of eritrea
to the oceans of newfoundland
my ancestors were bound
in balls and chains

great men they were
dragged aalong like animals
to a land that remained foreign to them

crossed the seas and oceans
and the oppressors whipped their buttocks
and spat on their faces
was there something wrong with their colours?
or was it the way they said their names?

why were this men evil and wicked?
was this man's inhumanity to man ?
why were they hated so ?
had someone sold them off for a bottle of coca-cola and a mirror?

how so can you treat them this way
babies, and children , the aged and the sick
men and women as bold and
beautiful as any of God's creation?

shackles as necklaces
cuffed they all were
in a single file as common animals
my ancestors were humiliated

from the bonds of depression
and the decades of oppression
in capacitated against their wills
my ancestors were sold to slavery

dragged round about the world
it was unreal

oceans and miles apart
a change of names they were given
some were separated at bay
a breastfeeding baby away from it's mother

in tears they worked
under the scorching sun , they persevered
some day , that day would come

the fields they ploughed till they wearied
at night they were fed stale bread and water
but they dare not leave
lest they get a bullet in the skull

the world was in bondage
they had to break the shackles of oppression
and chains of slavery
some day ,they will be free again
one day , any day , that day they will step foot on free land

and then one man fought so hard
for the abolition of slavery
in the end, he triumphed

and then suddenly the doors flunge wide open
the free breeze against their faces
alas, the sweet smell of freedom
free from all oppression
from the evil and vices of men

in deed- they were and are free
free spirtied
free born

finally , they were free - FREE AT LAST !!!

to commemorate the International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition.

copyright protected 23/08/2010

Tuesday, 17 August 2010


In my darkest moment
In my deepest thoughts
When all seems lost
And hope so so far away

When my faith dwindles
And my heart crumbles
When all seems so elusive
When my world becomes bleak

When the fig tree withers
And the sun sheds tears as scarlet
When the moon doesn’t wax or wane no more
And refuses to guide my path at night

When life deserts me
And friends forsake me still
When the going gets tough
And my heart be troubled

When my eyes build up a well of tears
My nose runneth freely
I will always life up my eyes
And remember your promise







Sunday, 8 August 2010

the journey into the unknown( your spirit takes flight)

Your spirit has left your earthly body
Your earthly life, over
The phase completed
You move on to the next phase
And your spirit continues its celestial journey
To journey to life eternal
A journey to be sojourned by every pilgrim
That ever walked the earth
That path we all must tread
While on earth you followed the path of light
You saw the way
Knew the truth and got the life
The life eternal
Now as you continue the journey
May you find favours with the angels
And may your spirit take its flight on this beautiful course
The course of life eternal
May light perpetual shine upon you
Your light will never grow dim
He will keep his angels charge over you
Your memories we shall forever keep
Pictures hung on the wall, phones, wallets and in our hearts
Heaven has its angel back
Earth just lost a treasure
Safe flight
Fare thee well
Good night sweet dreams
For I am assured you will wake up in the morning

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

is there still hope--??

Ximena is angry – VERY angry

I remember back then Nigeria was termed the giant of Africa one would have thought they were gonna metamorphose from a giant to a mega giant as would any biological specie and term growth and development …..

For every individual that attains any golden jubilee be it a wedding anniversary or a birthday celebration or even a call to bar, there usually is a call for celebration. But in rare cases where they are ill or too “disheartened to celebrate it is usually low keyed.. A show of gratitude.

Nigerians have complained for too long, matter of fact we’ve been complaining since I was a foetus, and we are still complaining donkey years and time o’clock after.

Fast forward to 2010 and Nigeria celebrates her 50th independence anniversary - but I ask myself do we have any thing to celebrate and the answer is YES, yes we must celebrate. Celebrate the fact that collectively as a nation we have failed not just ourselves but the world.

Waking up to discover that the budget for the owanbe had suddenly received some special anointing and grew from what ever billion to 17 billion naira.. WTH!!!! ????
17 billion for a celebration when all is not well??? So, someone please tell me how much would they have budgeted for the jamboree if every thing was in order and we had every thing at our disposal?

I quite get the drift that we want to celebrate in style but before we celebrate should we not ask ourselves these questions

How many Nigerians eat 3 square meal a day?
How many Nigerians own at least a car?
How many civil servants actually live on their salaries in a month, without resorting to borrowing mid month?
How many Nigerians have not asked for salary advance?
How many Nigerians have access to the basics, i.e? Water, electricity?
How many Nigerians have a proper roof over their heads?
How many Nigerians are unemployed?
How many Nigerians do not have access to Medicare or even first aid?
How many Nigerians are dying for lack of medical facilities?
How many pensioners have you seen begging on the streets?
How many Nigerians are dying of easily preventable diseases?
How many Nigerians are unable to continue their education as a result of funding?
How many Nigerians are suffering and smiling and saying “e go better “or “God will intervene in his time”
How many Nigerians silently suffer

Did I miss the memo or something? Am I the only one who thinks that 17 billion naira is a waste of money and an insult to me, but if channelled into the appropriate resources could gradually put us back on the map where we belong? It seems to me that spending such a huge amount on a celebration doesn’t make an iota of sense, 17 billion – it’s like the new memory verse for the year.

if any one so desperately wants to have an independence celebration – hold a special inter denominational service and pray for the country. The other option is to gather your friends and well wishers offer them pop corn and Schweppes and watch NTA NETWORK SERVICE (assuming the mighty nepa co-operates).

Do I not have every right to be angry and give up when they want to spend so much, but the citizens live on so less?

I ask myself that all our leaders do they have the fear of God in them.
Have we allowed evil to thrive in the land for so long those we now thing that evil has become good?

The book of proverbs chapter 29 verse 2 (the Jerusalem bible version) says

Is this the time for righteous men of God to arise?
Is it time for God to arise and let his enemies be scattered? (Psalm 68:1)

If they still want to go ahead and blow money over nothing, then they can be my guest. Like the saying goes “ he who goes a-borrowing , goes a-sorrowing”

Is there a ray of hope for the poor, the aged, the orphans, the unemployed , the widows and the less fortunate?

Are we still waiting for God to come down and deliver us ? .Or perhaps it is time for us to turn from our wicked ways and seek the face of the Lord truthfully as quoted in 2nd chronicles 7:14
then my people who are bear my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my presence and turn from their wicked ways, I MYSELF WILL HEAR FROM HEAVEN and forgive their sins and RESTORE THEIR LAND!!!”

Still crazy and vexing

Tuesday, 13 July 2010


There are many ways of celebrating some people like it low keyed – go to your place of worship , have a thanksgiving service and invite your society members and the congregation for a small “come chop “ party, not forgetting the fact that your friends and neighbours will stroll in later that evening.

The other category of people prefers the “aiye aigbo orun amo” kinda of party. It isn’t all about money oh, it’s all about show off and what better time to show off, now what we are fimty yias old.
So this is how I think we can save money and still have a blast call it JAMBOREE 101 OWANBE @ 6.6 COWRIES

Anyway every one has to contribute if they want their names to go into the history pages.
Well, we know that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad visited you a while ago and there are speculations that he has erm what do they call it nuclear weapons. Assuming it is true, just ask him for a carton or kpali of fire works like bisco and banga that should add a bit of sparkle to the celebration and you save


Upload pictures on facebook, flicker, twit pix... stop stressing

Jingle advert billboards documentaries- don’t worry about that all you have to do is twit it , then facebook it and people will like it – you save N320 million. Its free thanks to zukky

Chevron, Mobil , shell etc have been in the country for so long , way before most of us were born, this is their time to contribute to the economy and I am not talking oil spillage here. They can supply kerosene and fire wood together with dimsuu(diesel ) and pentirol (petrol) to power the generators seeing that we cant RELY on nepa on this one, before they disgrace us when we be boogying it down on the dance floor. You know there is no parry without music oh

Mama Charlie colonized us they should be happy that despite all the malaria, kwashiorkor and warapa cabal and zonses that inflicted us, we made it to 50. Many would have died as a result of lack of medical facilities, but we thank God that we attained the age of 50. It would only be fair that they also contribute after all their shild has clocked 50 and it is marvellous in their eyes. They should supply us security according to the riches of Scotland Yard

Austria, Switzerland and Indonesia should supply the aso-ebi. Indonesia can supply the Ankara while Austria and Switzerland can supply the laces required. Or what’s the point of a Nigerian owanbe without aso-ebi, it usually adds colour to an event (even though I sometimes think it is vain). Let it be as a sort of congratulatory gift especially from Switzerland since we have boosted their economy when our hard earned ego visits their banks on business and pleasure. I am sure aso-ebi is also known as miscellaneous – you save N120 million

Don t bother with that just ask South Africa to donate the balloons, drapes etc they used in the last world cup; I am sure they will be willing, after all what brothers are for?

Now we have the basic in place, its now time for the main de main- the koko of the party

Guinness and Coca-Cola must contribute after all most Nigerians have a friend called udeme and also a beer time of 17:59.; you know we cant serve our shildrens Guinness lest they get drunk over us, however we can give them coca-cola even though it will make them high --.
these companies must supply all our drinks according to the ‘oti ‘and ogogoro in their depots. If they tell you they cant afford it , tell them their lease is up and you wont be renewing their tenancies and someone else would be moving in – STRONG BROW BEER and TANDI GUARANA SOFT DRINKS BOTTLING PLC

What is a party without?
This is that stage of the party where you will see posh razzing up over a plate of rice and moi- moi.
Just write to 50 countries tell them you need a favour 15 bags of rice per country shouldn’t affect their economies. Jamaica and Brazil can supply for the beans for the moi- moi

Malaysia can supply the barrels of ground nut oils and palm oils
Taiwan and china can supply the pots and adogan together with 10 very long and big omorogun (spatula, eba turner. whatever you wanna call it)
Ask Pakistan to donate the condiments i.e. pepper and tomatoes. We grow onions in our own back yard we can afford it
We know party meats are usually the same size of the crown of a cork, that too can be found at our own back yard. So meat shouldn’t be a problem…

And yes, I do have a donation – a box of matches—

Ask Howard Webb to distribute the rest of the yellow cards he didn’t give out in south Africa- he still has a container load on the high sea

Please note that all members of this 6.6 committee will also serve as members of shago-shago committee
We don’t want litters around
Keep Nigeria clean

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy baybay
Still crazy after all these years and loving it

Monday, 12 July 2010


History was made when Barack Obama became the first black president of the United States in 2009. History was made again in 2010 when the republic of South Africa hosted the world cup. The very first time on African soil and I must saw a lot of Africans connected to this.
History was made again when the Spaniard warriors and the orange boys met in the finals of the world cup. The first of its kind on African soil. The very first time the Spaniards will get to the final and I think (I stand corrected) a third of the orange boys. Either way, if either of them had won it would have been the very first time the team would win the world cup. And also the first European team to win the tournament on African soil.

The custodians of the competitions, Argentina, Italy, France, Germany, England, and Uruguay vanished like melted butter. How the mighty are truly fallen. I am sure most people would think that Spain would not qualify for the next round and perhaps the Germany machines might be the world champion.

But the spirit of first time had some thing in store for us,

And then came octadamus. The psychic octopus that kept on predicting correctly. Was it a true prediction, or was it psychology?
Was it remotely possible that both teams believed the octopus? Could it be that Holland gave up and just decided to play the match knowing fully well that Spain was going to win? Or did the Spanish team put in the best team work, determination and enough agility to make their country proud. After all it was their first time to reach the finals.
Whatever the case, octadamus acted as a catalyst and also made history as the first octopus to predict a winning team
There really is always a first time for every thing.

And then the first goal, the only goal that saw Spain become the world champions for the first time ever. And they remain champions for the next four years.
I hope the octopus would predict correctly the next country to host the world cup so I can book my flight ticket in advance. Who knows I might get 95% off.
There is always a first time, remember?

And then came the referee who came with a Ghana must go bag full of yellow cards, the way he was issuing it out like a wedding invite was alarming.

If you dare blink, you get a yellow card. Any attempt at a free kick automatically guarantees you a yellow card. But, I wonder why the karate kick deserved a yellow card instead of a red?

Perhaps, if the linesmen and the commentators had brought to his attention that the player deserved a red card, he probably would have issued every one in the stadium a yellow card. Hey, he had a bag full of it; it would be enough to go round.

It would have been funny if he had given all the players a yellow card. It would be the first time in history the players of both teams would be booked
Sweet history

If MTN knows the main-de-main they will employ the referee to be ambassador seeing as he likes the colour yellow

Seeing that clearly octadamus had predicted and it has come to pass and as we approach 2011, it is only imperative the consult the oracle on who might likely win after the first attempt or even the third attempt and put the rest finally the issue of zoning and zombieing.

I wouldn’t sign out without giving kudos to RSA for a job well done. Did any one see the beautiful view of the stadium, or was I the only one that saw the glorious sun set. It was truly awesome. That was a job well done and I hope other African countries might learn some event planning skills from this tournament

Thursday, 8 July 2010


The journey was long
I climbed the mountains
Fell between the valleys, hills, panes

Just when I thought the journey was over

I came across the sea

The sea breeze was calm, it was serene and I felt your presence
The gentleness of the ocean, whispered to me
And suddenly, the sea became angry

It roared so loudly I fell
Fell into the Dead Sea

I rose up and fought against the tide
Because you gave me power over all
But the sea was too powerful
It nearly took me away

Half way THRU
I fought
I cried
I struggled

I nearly gave them
And then I remembered
Half way through the journey
I remembered the popular verse
through many dangers toils and snares
I have already come
Taws grace that brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home

Your promises I remembered
As told to the prophet
should you pass thru the sea, I will be with you;
Or through rivers, they will not swallow you up

And I spoke peace to my soul
And I heard a voice
Commanding the storm
Peace be still
I looked around
No one
No not one
Just the voice
And suddenly
The same voice the winds and waves obey

i became weary,my bones ached
my soul tired
my spirit became weak

And suddenly i was lifted
Lifted above the seas and above the problems of life
Your grace saved me from the raging storm
You lifted me above all my problems…

Gently you lay me down away from harms way
You wrapped me in love tender mercies and loving kindness

your grace truly is sufficient for me
I have found peace, perfect peace

in this dark world of sin
Now I have entered into my rest

Safe and sound

Knowing you are just a whisper away and watching over me

In light inaccessible hid from our eyes
Most blessed most glorious the ancient of days
Almighty , victorious thy great name we praise

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

is nigeria really 50 ??

ah ximena herald is back .. yaaaah and i write to the president even though i am 50 percent certain he may not read this..
oh dia ---

You were called GOODLUCK for reasons known only to your family. Like they say what is in a name, a lot I must say. The name GOODLUCK speaks for itself, GOOD and LUCK and I am certain the name also carries with it the same power as the name Jonathan.
Well, fate has it that in 2010 that you will be the president of the country, would you have known? I bet your crystal ball would not have told you the specials God had planned for you

Ok, let me get to the issue at hand. Cyberspace rumour has it that ***whispering *** N16.4billion has been set aside for the anniversary celebration. Agreed that we can only be 50 once, yeah the much awaited golden jubilee is finally here or is nearly here. However, I must buttress that there is no point wasting such a huge amount of money on flamboyant pomp and pageantry for a celebration that wouldn’t last a week. Such is vanity
Oh vanity…
Spending 16.4 billion naira for a celebration that would last a week or less, invited guests will eat clean mouth and waka and the country will be in debt

No fireworks on the 4th of July because of budget cuts
I quite understand the fact that the world wants to rejoice with us, but lets look at the economic climate here and I must say that money is too much to spend on any celebration.

Let’s assume for the duration of the note that I am in custody of the said amount, I will not bother celebrating when most if not all of the citizenry suffers silently. One in three Nigerian family lives below poverty line
There are other ways to celebrate with Nigeria and spend the money; at least every family will be affected by this gesture DIRECTLY.

From 16.4 billion naira pay up the pensioners. Give them bonuses, pay interest on the back log of unpaid pensions, they have served the nation and it’s high time the nation repays the toils of their youth. Try and pay in advance, balance and arrears. These senior citizens will be more than happy to include you in their prayer points until the Lord tarries.

There are a lot of intelligent students who do not have a means of survival and livelihood and for reasons known to you and I cannot pay their way through schools and have to drop out some where down the road to success, your administration can provide bursaries, scholarships, grants and loans what ever you can do to enable them complete their education and contribute to the nation.

For the graduates who haven’t gained a reasonable employment after graduation, create jobs build conglomerates, build factories something they can do and love. The resources are there to generate income for these graduates and drastically reduce the level of unemployment.

The police force funny as it may sound should be over-hauled, recycled and rehabilitated. I think its high time we upped our games and be placed in the category of the metropolitan police in the U.K. (smiles)
Give them better packages, hazard pays, death benefits, and good remuneration package. And proper training on how to handle a gun. We don’t want to hear stories of stray bullets flying like ripe mangoes falling out of a tree. Before I forget forensic department, a CSI department in the LAS GIDI POLICE DEPARTMENT

Build cancer research centres at least ten in a country so at least people can at least travel tri state without having to travel far and abroad.
Re-equip hospitals, let their be a local health centre in every local government, ok lets make it two instead that should cover the plague of “over-crowding” in the receptions.

And how can I ever forget, the major strain in the back bone of every Nigerian both at home and abroad – NEPA/PHCN /PROBLEM HAS CHANGED NAME/PLS HOLD CANDLE NOW usually called the children of darkness. Fifty years after we still fight the principalities and powers called P.H.C.N and now just suffer an occasional black out but an incessant and perpetual power outage.
little wonders a child’s first words are “up nepa”

The truth is I did include nepa in my prayer point, but I stopped they have just refused to change, especially after hearing excuses like it was too sunny , less water in the dam, it rained heavily, etc etc.

We have burnt candles. Lit lanterns, halogen lamps, shakabula, mobile phones but the problems still persist. That goes to show that candles and fuels cannot wade off the evil that loves darkness.

However, we can try generating electricity by using renewable energy, waste products, etc. that should generate some thousands of megawatts at least. Oh yes, I think you should re christen them G-power you know like Good luck power- they just might bring good luck to you and I.

Let’s do something that every Nigerian alive, dead and unborn will appreciate...

I will stop here for now… as it is customary with me I always have a part 2, this time its information technology, education and the roads.
I am hibernating to write part 2 but remember
to make akara you have first got to grind the beans

Friday, 2 July 2010

oh dear what a calamity !!!

naija sha

Here i was oh starring at my laptop and wondering what to write on, since obviously i wasn’t going to give myself the luxury of writing about the world cup, not now and not after independence...
I don’t see anything wrong in associating with the winning side, but when it becomes extreme, it just tends to be hypocritical

Ghana - Uruguay match has come and gone and logging on to facebook what greets me. Information overload; the hype—again

The same hype that greeted me the day Barack Obama became president, the same hype that clouded my screen when MJ passed on. And now,
every Nigerian i know on fib well, most of them ... i may be a bit generic here but every one has suddenly become Ghanaians and Ghanaians, just like that..

I give it to Ghana they played well as did England and Brazil!!!!

And now the what ifs

So what if Ghana had lost in the first round, i am sure insults will be flying left right and centre....

But the super eagles lost -- yeah that i consider typical or were you guys expecting some sort of football miracle, when they keep on recycling the same people, world cup in world cup out... oh purleease people it’s like garbage in, garbage out

So what if
Super eagles did crash out in the quarter finals, they will still be termed incompetent

And Ghana had lost out: what if Ghana and Nigeria met in the finals ----???
Where would your allegiance lie????

When good luck became president, everyone became good luck…… typical
I was just wondering oh, how many people will change their nationality to Ghana and re-christen themselves osei, yaw, ababio, nana, afua, akor, trakasau, akua before the end of today.

i get the fact that everyone wants to be associated with success and like they say success has many brothers, failure is an orphan-- but isnt it necessary to also give a word of encouragement to the orphans like the super eagles.....

while most people drown and bask in the sorrow of the game , and yeah i am a football fan,life goes on .

i only wonder what information overload i am gonna get next week :-|

Thursday, 3 June 2010


Everywhere I look and all I see is discrimination. Left, right, centre, up, down its all discrimination. First they came with a way of low self esteem racial discrimination, black, white, Hispanic, Caucasian, self tan, sun burnt. Thank God for the salvation through Jesus Christ.

Looking around me I realised that racism isn’t the only ism we have in our world today, there are so many and it all affects all both directly and indirectly. The issue of gender discrimination is as old as time itself, but thankfully the world has woken up and seen that the price of fuel has gone up and the sexist of old are like archaeological artefacts, buried in the relics of the lost age.

Educational discrimination. This is broad as it involves all aspects of education. When looking for an employment, employers tend to pick those who may have a better education than other candidates but may be less qualified for the job. It also spans to what university the candidate graduated from, the level of degree, and sometimes, they never consider those who went to polytechnics and technical colleges have more in-depth and practical hands on skills. But no, the employers of made in Nigeria do not put this into consideration

And now there is FOODISM
Discrimination against food!!! Yes, and I do not mean the vegans, vegetarians alone oh,
Go into a store and you see labels of foods and fruits ranging from class A, class B, class C. even banana’s are either from Costa Rica or panama.
Seedless breads, bagels with sesame seeds, white bread, brown bread, white rice, brown rice.
If I want to eat bread with seeds or nuts, I will simply go and buy bread and groundnut!!
And oh yes they have the organic rice, beans and oranges from Kenya. Organic ke??? So that means we have a lot of inorganic foods in the world today. Looks like apples indeed are the forbidden fruits.

And now they have free range eggs. or shall I say egg is egg whether bond or free

So when you see that chicken , goat and cow roaming the street think FREE RANGE!!!!!

The next thing we will know is that maisuya will come with his own suism (discrimination against suya)
Free range suya
Organic suya
New age suya
Like someone rightly said suya Na suya all Na from the same cow

Tomorrow it may be ximeanism
I might come in free range or normal

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy babe
Still crazyafteralltheseyears

Saturday, 15 May 2010


This has nothing to do with hookes law of elasticity. Or maybe it does?
I know rubber bands although come in different shapes and sizes, they all operate on the same pricinciple…. STRETCHING

I have stretched as a child when I so wanted that mango on the tree. I knew I couldn’t reach it, but I could climb the tree and get it… STRETCHING

Everyman who has achieved something in life did so by stretching (ask my parents). Remember, great men weren’t born (4get abinibi) only babies. Those babies of yesteryears became great men of today(my father).no one was born into this world full equipped. Every man/woman who has ever made it to the top stretched.

One costly mistake we make is that we usually associate successful people as geniuses of some sort. (Ask albert Einstein )

Success is actually due to our stretching from the challenges of life. Failure comes when we shrink from our challenges.


Most people have refused to stretch for the following reasons…..

1. FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN--- we don’t know what lies ahead , why bother to stretch anyway?
2. we tend to back off when we come against something bigger than us that we just refuse to expand.
3. we are satisfied with where and what we are that we just refuse to stretch further.
The moment you stretch , you are no longer ordinary u become out of SYNC with your friends.

Stretching doesn’t come naturally, we have to be motivated before we stretch. We should also motivate others and help them maximize their potentials.. some factors also motivate us…
Some of us would be racing for our lives before we stretch

Some challenges , which itself stimulates US,

Others are totally dissatisfied with their current state

While the rest are spurred on by previous success..

4 factors.


Most of us are actually very vulnerable when we are stretching. We begin our lives by stretching we soon discover that this position leaves us prune to attacks and criticism and then some begin to withdraw.

Then we equate stretching with pain and before long we refuse to stretch..
May I remind us that the road to success is paved with critics, and there criticisms are definitely not constructive.
Criticism comes in three stages

1. when people tell you that you are wrong and it wont work
2. they see it is working and they tell you its not important
3. after they see its important and you have made it, they tell you they knew u will make it all along.


We are vulnerable to misunderstanding. People feel threatened by us if we are stretching to be our best and then question the validity of our motives.

If we don’t have goals we wont recognise failure, but if we are stretching for success, we fail from time to time. We need to learn how to deal with that and never let failure become final.

Discouragement is failure's partner. The best way out of a discouraging situation is to surround yourselves with people that encourage you. Avoid the infectious…

Until im back wit part 2 of stretching, keep stretching….

Still crazy after all these years


Friday, 14 May 2010

in deeper reflection

man is a spirit , he has a soul and lives in a body

Just like the flame
So also are our lives
Here today
Gone tomorrow
Dust to dust
Ashes to ashes
The world mourns and weeps at my graveside

Heart and emotional words of eulogy they pour at my funeral
Even in death , my spirit sheds a tear or two
They say the final words
”God be with you till we meet again at Jesus feet”
And the farewell song as it fades

I fear no foe with thee at hand to bless
Ills have no weights, and tears no bitterness
Where is death’s string? Where, grave ,thy victory ?
I triumph still if thou abide with me

And I know that the only reminder of me in this sinful world
Are the memories we shared
And the engraved writings on my tomb
“here lies ----------------
A child of substance
Child of the Most High
A writer, reader, scholar
Hated by few
Loved my many
Respected by all

And then the voices fade
The footsteps becomes distant
All alone in the cold grave
All dark and eerie
And suddenly my spirit takes flight
As I begin the journey into the unknown

The unpublished works of the chronicles of a deeper reflection

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy baybay

Tuesday, 11 May 2010


The legend called bob. Not bob the builder, but Robert Nesta Marley. He was one of the prophets that walked the face of the earth. Born to a Jamaican father of English descent and an afro Jamaican mother, Marley was considered as a half-caste. He neither saw himself as either black or white, but as a creation of God.

Growing up in a reggae dominated house, it was impossible to go a day in the house without my brothers jamming one of his albums alongside Jimmy cliff, peter tosh, yellow man and the rest of the reggae sun splash crew. Now you know where my eccentricity came from.
Singing to his song as a little girl back then did not entirely have any meaning. I loved the tunes and the guitars that accompanied his songs, but as one grew older one was able to reflect and ponder on how inspiring his songs were. So it was really sad that he died before I got the chance to really know him.

His songs were and are prophetic some times I wish our rulers will sit and ponder over his songs like redemption song, buffalo soldier, get up stand up .

Sadly, cancer took him away exactly 29 years ago today

To the one legend I never had the chance to meet

The one legend that left his legacy behind
The one legend that preached world peace, oneness in brother hood
One who never judged or had any prejudice
The one legend that never saw himself as neither black, nor white but as a creation of God
The Rastafarian himself

And your final words were
“Money can’t buy life “
Indeed it cannot other wise you will still be here
But I am glad you passed this road and left your legacy
Like the falling star,
You fell when you were at your brightest.
But you still shine so bright in my heart

I leave you with these words from the track three little birds

“don’t worry about a thing for every little thing gonna be alright
Rise up this morning, smile with the rising sun
Three little birds pitched by my door steps,
Singing sweet songs of melody pure and true
This is my message to you
Don’t worry about a thing for every little thing gonna be alright “


Sunday, 9 May 2010


Power outage/ black out what ever you call it these days at an international airport somewhere on earth. Immigration procedure and check in was at a stand still, this just reminds me of our own version of volcanic ash... yup.

If that can happen at an international airport, I wonder what the domestic airport would be going through. One would have thought that with all the money, airport tax, car parking tax, standing up tax, offloading tax, and the fine-you-pay-if-your-car-is-parked-wrongly tax and the awon-boys tax they could not afford to put a let-there-be light generator , mbok ( deep sigh).

Who is to blame for this? The power company will direct it at the government, the government will direct it and drop it at the doorstep of minister of airport, the minister of airport will direct it at who ever is beside him when he gets the query and the circle goes on and on. Everyone takes the blame, but no one professes the situation,

Sometimes, I think aloud according to the bible God said “let there be light and there was light and God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness (Gen 1: 3-4)

If God had decided that when he created the heavens and the earth that every continent will generate their own light, trust me when I say other African countries will unanimously decide to make Nigeria a continent. For what relationship has light with the dark


What could be the problem? Inability to pay the bills, which at this point is highly improbable? Or the usual excuse of either there was too much water in the dam, or the dam suddenly ran dry!!! Or yes, “blown transformer due to over loading”

Whatever the case, I feel so sorry for people with more than 3 luggages and I especially feel sorry for those guys who will manually carry the luggage. Forget the extra cash they get today, the pain will be directly proportional to the money but unfortunately, they cannot call in sick tomorrow!!

On the other hand, let’s thank God because the situation could have been worse like this

Pilot to air traffic control :
Pilot : This is cap hosama-obama flight vs222 to traffic control

Control room (c.r): This is controller awe

Pilot : Requesting permission to land

C. R : State your precise location
pilot: I am 10knots of the equator; ETA should be about approximately 5 mins, request permission to land on tarmac cows-were-seen-grazing

C.r : Permission for land---------- (nepa strikes) beep…static and suddenly an automated voice comes up saying
sorry for the break in transmission it was due to failure in --------------------
17 hours after contact with the control room

Erm, I am sure we will be singing another tune by now if that was the case.

If that can happen in an airport, I wonder what it would be like if a major operation is carried out on a “major person” and gbam major nepa strikes, and the dockitas, and d anaesthetist and d scrubs and the nurses all bring out their mobile phones?
Oh I almost forgot mobile phones are to be switched off at all TIMES. Kai, o ma se oh for the major man on that major surgery table

And you guys don’t see any future in this country?
Please light a candle and sing

I am the future of the world
I am the hope of my nation
I am 2mrw future
I am the new inspiration

And we’ve got a song to sing to you
We’ve got a message to share with you

Do i have to come up with the solution…??
Ximena dey go sleep

Friday, 7 May 2010


Elder 1 madueke
Elder 2 maurice
Okonkwo, jasper, chidera

Okonkwo’s uncle cosmos was too speechless and this was born out of the fact that he couldn’t believe it that they wanted to marry his grand-niece at any early age and to a man old enough to be her father.

He looked at Okonkwo and then turned to his guests and said “you want your gifts back? why if I may ask? In fact why do you, jasper with the little education catechist Cornelius gave you, you want to marry a very young girl”?

. “You see “muttered Maurice,” it is said that once a man sees a beautiful thing, he should quickly grab it, else someone else might take it from him that is what we are doing today. “
“Ehn, my own daughter “, interjected chidera,” bia, jasper why don’t you marry one of your daughter’s ovularia to a friend of yours and instead you have the guts to ask for your gifts back “?

Okonkwo silently sits contemplating whether to join the discussion or sample his machete on the useless old goon madueke blabbing away.

“Tradition only demands that if you reject our proposal that you return our gifts” replied okechukwu the third elder

Ehn, ehn, fine if your tradition demands so, I hope that same tradition also demands that you return the foods, drinks and the warm reception we accorded you? asked cosmos

“Tradition my foot”, muttered Okonkwo,#2 you men are unbelievable, jasper with your exposure of visiting the city once in a while you haven’t learned a thing or two? You hide your evil guise under tradition. What useless custom and tradition will allow you marry off your teenage daughter at an early age?”
“Our fore-fathers did and we have to continue the tradition.” Replied madueke
“Indeed, they did they formed a tradition to suit their selfish gain and you all blindly follow foolishly, you ignoramuses “responded cosmos.
“We only came to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage, we have not come to be insulted. “

“Oh, you will be insulted and much more oh because you came into my house to insult me. Look jasper, if you are bent on destroying someone else’s life, try and marry the grand daughter of one of your foolish uncles here. Who knows your useless tradition might permit it. You will not destroy my daughter’s life. Please vacate my premises otherwise I might do something I might regret. “

“If you do not return our gifts we will assume you have accepted our proposal for the hand of your daughter.”
Cosmos at this point was irritated and excused himself while chidera looked at her guest in disdain and started laughing
“Woman, why are you laughing? What is funny “asked madueke?
“I am not laughing at what is happening but at what is going to happen if you all don’t carry your two left legs and vanish from my compound. You see as uncle went inside , ehn he is not going to bring your gifts I am very sure he has gone in to load the oka he usually uses to chase away thieves. You can still sit down there or speak to your legs and find your square root. “
.Just then cosmos barges out of the room

“Where are the idiots that want to destroy the life of my grand niece?”
On seeing the rage as displayed by cosmos, the guest hurriedly left the premises of Okonkwo
“Wait nau. Are you leaving already? How about your gifts?”

“Don’t worry, you can keep it “replied maduka

“Ehn, jasper, jasiper, jasiper look at the disgrace you have brought upon us. Did you not know that there is a curse upon Okonkwo and his family?”

Of all the beautiful girls in the village why his daughter? Have you not seen how developed and ripe mazi okezie’s last daughter is old enough after all she is 14

“Shall we try it out?” asked jasper
“ mmmh I don t think today , I have had one insult too many “
“but why are you so keep on marrying a young girl after all you have three wives at home” quizzed madueke.
“Hmm, uncle I need a young woman to make me feel young and like a man again. “Speak of the devil, is that not okezie at mama carol’s beer parlour? “I think we should go and lightly joke with him and observe his reaction “?

to be continued

Sunday, 2 May 2010


The story so far….. well not so far

Not like there ever was one ..

Ok this is the 2nd part of specimen Y how it all began ……

Some where on earth..
Before some inhabitants of the world lost touch with reality :

Elder 1: “we saw a beautiful flower we would like to pluck from your compound”

Okonkwo: “hmmm, beautiful flower you say?”

Elder 1: “Oh yes, we can see that the flower is well nurtured and watered and properly bred, 2 market days from now we shall be a paying an official visit to make known our intentions”

2market days later

Okonkwo: “welcome our guests, I hope you had a nice journey “

Elder 1 “ ah , yes lets get down to business and explain our intentions , like my kinsman said we saw a flower in your compound we would like to pluck “

Okonkwo: “gentle men you are speaking in parables.
I do not have flowers in my compound except shrubs, a pawpaw and orange tree in my back garden. Erm, if you may can you be more direct and factual “

Elder 3: “it is said that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour …. “

Okonkwo’s uncle: "very true, indeed, very true...”

Elder 2: “we would like to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage”
Okonkwo: “hmm, my daughter you say. Please excuse me a moment while I converse with my family “

They adjourn to the bedroom to discuss

Okonkwo: “did you hear that?
They have come to ask for the hand of our daughter in marriage and tradition says the first daughter should be married off before her younger ones. “

chidera is busy singing and dancing

Chidera: God am good he has done me well, oh my soul rise up and praise the Lord
“Eh finally they have come and ask for the hand of adaku in marriage? Thank you Lord I was beginning to think she would grow grey hair in this house. Your name be praised oh Jehovah. Chineke dalu nne ri oh (thank you so much Lord) “

Okonkwo: “any way, now that they have officially asked and they know what our custom demands, let us entertain our guests. biko, tell olachi to pound that a fufu very well and that bush meat kenneth ( pronounced Kennetheh ) brought last night , abeg let her include it in the bitter leaf soup . “

Okonkwo’s uncle: “now we have heard you, and have also received your gifts as tradition demands.

Okonkwo’s uncle so you want to marry adaku our daughter. That is good news oh “

Elder 1: Erm no, actually it’s your other daughter “

Okonkwo: Chioma?

Elder 1: “No the other one “

Okonkwo: “Ahh, hmmm you mean oluchi?”

He laughs out loud the idiotic elder

Elder 1” Not that one either”.

Okonkwo: “ahn, ahn that would be nneka? “

they all shake their heads in unison,

Elder 3 “Not that one either “

Okonkwo and his family looks at one another

Okonkwo’s uncle: “are you sure you have the right address? For I fear you are in the wrong house”

Elder 2: looks at the middle aged man who hasn’t said a word since the inception of the conversation.

Elder 2: “jasper, is this not the house? “

Jasper: “yes, uncle it is this house.”

Chidera: “well, my last daughter Ugochi is only twelve and she is preparing for her JSSC Exams. Surely you can’t …… “

Interrupts elder one

Elder 1: “Exactly she is the flower we seek “.

Okonkwo’s uncle: “You mean you want us to nurture her for you and when the time is right you will come and marry her?”

“Erm no, we wish to marry her now “replied the third elder

Okonkwo: Now!!! She is still young and besides I am sure your son (he looks at jasper) is too young to be married?”

Elder 2: “Actually, Jasper here is the one who wants to marry Ugochi “!

Okonkwo: “Marry gini my Ugochi spills his schnapps on the floor “tufiakwa, may the gods forbid. She is the youngest of my daughters, “

Elder 1: Oh, no we would like that young girl; you see we like to catch them young especially now that she is untainted. He married wife no 1 was she was 16, wife no 2 at 15 wife no 3 at 13 at u see if Ugochi marries him, she will be wife no 4 and his youngest wife ever. ”

Okonkwo: “my own 12 year old daughter, you wan catch young ngwanu,
“I will FAROUK you before you YERIMA my daughter “

Elder 2: “You mean you are rejecting our proposal? “

Okonkwo:” I am not only rejecting your proposal, I will also experiment on you the cutlass I just bought from the market last week. See you people should vanish before I open my eyes and castrate one of you …. Infact I will report this abomination to the elders council “

elder 1 : "What about the gifts we brought?? "

To be continued

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

ximena herald -- the oldman and the innocent child

As you guys are aware, there lives a certain “man” or no sorry I meant a certain “specimen Y “in the north that took upon himself a young child from the land of the mummies and pyramids to be his bride.

This man paid so many cowries to the families of this innocent child to destroy her life and ruin her future …
I wonder if this specimen has never heard of VVF?

She has been turned into a woman, talk about trying to rush nature.
I am not surprised neither am I shocked, for there is nothing new under the sun. But I am shocked however that this man from the north happens to be one of the law makers of the land. And chooses upon himself, an innocent child just out of the pod…

So we should not condemn…. And ye without sin cast the first stone. Ximena is with sin and will cast the first stone. I will not hesitate to stone to a state of coma( cos stoning to death will miss the emphasis of the punishment I have for you ) and put a bullet through your thick skull soon after if you come to ask for the hand of my daughter in marriage once she turns 13 ( counting my fingers).

How can a man old enough to be her grandfather marry her talk less of having carnal knowledge with her. She is just 13 and grandpa here is closer to kissing the grave than turning 70.

bros, look mirror you don old, u are not 16 mate!!!

So what in Pete’s name is this all about? What reasonable / sensible / logical man will marry a 13 year old in this age and day?


Or dude hasn’t heard that we have since moved on from some archaic ways and customs? Could it be accustomed to religion, tribe, creed, belief or just ignorance?

I kept asking myself why would parents give out their young daughters in marriage to men who are more likely to kiss their graves faster than the speed of light ?

Imagine being way and much older than your step mum, or having a step mother old enough to be your third child?
Some people need to be referred to ‘Dr Ayeni ‘
because some people will never learn

What level of desperation, economic meltdown and cajoling will tempt you to place a bid on your daughters for $100k ?

It would have been best if you just put up a bid on e-bay and close the bid when she turns 21, perhaps they might have gotten more than the $100k and possible a young prince charming from Aladdin’s own country

It is appalling and grotesque that cases like these are still happening in today’s world.

I say it if any man dares to ask for the hand of my daughter at 13 just make sure you have put your house in order because you are definitely leaving my house in a body bag and a bullet to your temple EXECUTION STYLE .

Remember, the judicial system in our land is slower than traffic on the third mainland bridge, besides I would be thanked HONOURABLY FOR DOING THE WORLD A FAVOUR AND MAKING THE NATION PROUD

Ximena has spoken and rests her case.

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

bros Jamb!!

Dear broda ~Jamb,

I for like to give you all the dilly dally dem teash me for inglish . but I no sabi where I go start from. The letter wey I dey write you sef, I no know if e be formal ,semi-formal or informal letter.

My own be say I wan talk my mind, or make we put am this way , I dey give you voice mail.
Una no dey pity person!!!

I don WRITE JAMB AGAIN. Na 1997 I write my first Jamb, den I still young so when una fail me, e no pain me. 1998 una seize my result, I look una I no talk .
1999 I write jamb again , una no dey consider say to fill Jamb form na exam?
I write am again third time . this time una carry three different results come.
Jamb office result different, the one una send to university different, the one una post come my house different.

Whether na una abi una machine don crase I no understand. Any way by the time una go sort una sef out , the semester don end for that university. Na im the v. p say make I go write another Jamb ….

Kai , me wey dey boast say I go enter university before we celebrate millennium una fall my hand….. AGAIN

Una no even know say to get d money na JAMB ?? and if person write Jamb 3 time and e no pass the fourth time suppose free nau….

Una no dey hear wey our broses them dey say “buy one japan , get two Taiwan free”?

I persevere , I fill another form, go orile buy Jamb past questions again, since all the ones I get , I don dash am out, sake of say I don enter university after 3 attempts.
I even reach oshodi buy key point join ….

This time around una say result WITHHELD. Cut off mark na 200 , all marks na integer how una take carry character enter mark. Which one be WITHHELD.??? Na mark
How una dey mark am sef? Na name and location una dey use? Make una no think say I write c , come cross am off una think say na E OH.

Now, 2010 I don write jamb again, if I no pass ehn

Una go refund all my money
From 1997 – 2010
Including all the t- fare from bariga to okoko
From shibiri to orile
And from etegbin to odon gunyan

Make una no think say I dey joke oh .me and farouk those days been dey play “ayo “oh
Or where una tink say money dey come from. U think say my papa get one room for inside our compound wey we put person wey dey vomit money. I don nearly forget sef all the math set and scientific calculate una seize abi una fapp.. abeg I need am sharpily ..

If to say I know sef,I for just dey gather the money small small, I for just start business. But because I dey carry 1st every time, I say make I try write am again.
After all na aaliyah of blessed memory talk am say , if at first u don’t succeed , dust your self up and try again.
I don try , I don tire.. if una fail me for this jamb. Make una just refund my money. Cos as I dey see am so .. na mama Charlie village get me oh .

Meanwhile, na only una no dey strike.????

And again, I wan bail abeg , no be una life I come. EHEN , before I forget help me tell that ya sister NECO say she go soon get voicemail…

Battery don nearly die, useless nepa don carry light…
I go hail u later !!!

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crasee babay , still crazyafterall these years

Sunday, 28 March 2010


Mind your grammar 2
Hello childrenses/facebookers/childs I am hoping you childs have didin your assignments. This week we shall be looking at the words that following.
IN --- a prefix
New words
DISEPT( INEPT before una go dey find dictionary )

Now, let us making sentences with the words we have just learning today

1. Though I INLIKE it, I DON’T want YOU to be DISFOCUSED .

As we progressing and marching forward like when they singing the sing, ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS, we shall be lookingly at the comprehensive part of mind your grammar

Completion the essay below that I have starting

Yesterday I was going to visiting a friends and then I come and leave my car (that kin wan dem dey use for kpisaun kpisaun films) in my house. I now saying I should take the bus.i come and enter the bus oh, but I do oshodi style ,one woman come and come and say that me I am INRESPECTFUL that why did I not let her entering the bus before, I come and look her and say , “is it my fault that you are INABLE to run, and u were doing amebo u were now DISFOCUSED and was INAWARE that the bus was coming. ………………..

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy babay..
Still crazyafter all these years

Thursday, 11 March 2010



For hours I was in labour
I pushed and pushed
I took a breath
I kept on pushing
Eventually my child came out
A new baby
A new beginning
A new future
A new hope
I nurtured
I cared
I protected
Everything a parent will do, I did
Until that morning you came
And slaughtered our children before our eyes
Our wives before us
You made us look like cowards
My sister was killed
My friend died
A child’s head was cut open
And you felt no remorse

This is the time when I should enjoy the fruits of my labour
Where my sons and daughters will thank me
But, nay, you slay them
And made me weep in my old age
And when the aged weep
The consequences are dire
The land has been desecrated
Because you have caused me to mourn
Because you burnt my sons and daughters

You shall mourn all the days of your life
For the rest of your years everyday will be a day of mourning
Disasters will be your portion
You shall have plagues upon you
Your homes will be destroyed
Your spouses will desert you
You shall have as an inheritance a leprosy of houses,
You shall be accursed in the town and in the country
Cursed shall be the fruits of your bodies
God will strike you down with consumption, fever, inflammation, drought, blight and shall pursue you to your ruin
You will never be anything but exploited and plundered continually and no one will come to your help
You will cast seed in plenty on the field in harvest time and the locust will devour it
All these curses will come up with you, pursue you and over take you
Because now I bury my sons, daughters,mothers,fathers, wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, friends
In my old age
As I grieve, you shall grieve in double portions

Monday, 8 March 2010


She was playing in the front garden
Her mother was reading to her
Suddenly they came
Killed some of them
Killed their mothers
Murdered their fathers
And mutilated the children
Left some of them orphans
They went away and we had peace.
Now they are back to finish what they started
In tears she knelt
She begged them to spare their lives
They destroyed their homes not long ago
She preached peace
But, no, they raised their swords and killed again.
Our fathers
Our mothers
New born babies
Now, she writes this in agony
The pain of the machete pierces her heart
She is weak from the struggle and has placed a curse on them
The cries of the innocent children
The wailings of the women
The loud moans of the people left to mourn




May the cries of the dead be a like a song to your ears,
May the birds of the sky refuse to feed on ur carcass…
And now as I place this curse upon you,

Sunday, 31 January 2010


The lost love
Once the citizens of this country were law abiding, love thy neighbour dove type. But today it’s all gone with the wind… whoosh...
The recent killings in jos has just confirmed that we no longer love one another. How can you explain the senseless mayhem that has left families in mourning, wives as widows, husband as widowers and even children as orphans. A catastrophe that wasn’t even their fault. An argument that could have been averted or prevented from escalating into a full blown religious war, and that my people is what I call internal terrorism

Sometimes I wonder how they do it, how would u attack someone you see and speak to literally everyday. It’s unbelievable; the same neighbour who is your closest relative has become your sworn enemy because your opinion about an issue is different. So what, we all agree to disagree but at the end of the day we reach a consensus that will benefit both parties. Jeez, what ever happened to diplomacy? Now, its “if you talk rubbish, I go shuck you”

For how long can we preach peace?

Too long have I lived among people who hate peace, who when I propose peace are all for war (psalm 120: 6-7)

Now if I jokingly call my delta neighbour “kolo” I may unknowingly start a series of inter tribal war.
I see inter tribal wars, religious crises as a man made disaster, let us pause here and move to the other side of the globe
Own tragedy wasn’t as a result of their own doing (even though a certain man of God said they are paying for having a pact with the devil some 200 moons ago.. God calls people to repentance and never destroys his own) and suffered a fate that befell hundreds of thousands of Haitians. If only Nigerian will step out side their comfort zones and put themselves in the position of Haiti, would we then have the strength to stab and start a religious war when nature might pay us a surprise visit.


We really should be thankful for the geographical location God has placed us.
He has blessed us with every thing we need and yet we still misbehave. If we all remember the parable of the sower, we haven’t sowed any of the resources God gave to us, should he not have taken it from us? But, nay, God loves us so much he is willing to give us chance after chances. And yet in our gratitude to God, we kill, destroy and maim the works of his creation.

Isn’t it about time we sorted our differences out? If not for us but for the sake of our unborn generation...

and remember while you are busy fighting over lands, burning down houses remember there are so many people who are homeless and starving and would do just about anything to have a room to lay their heads for the night....

When we start fighting over issues like these, how do we defend or stand up for one another when an external force attacks us
I wont even ask the obvious, but what d heck , with these mayhems here and there, does it mean that our lives and properties are not secured at any point in time…. ?

What ever happened to the phrase?
one nation bound in freedom, peace and unity?

Can we make Nigeria not just a nation but our home?
then if my people who bear my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my presence and turn from their wicked ways, I myself will hear from heaven and forgive their sins and restore their land. Now and for the future my eyes are open and my ears attentive to the prayer that is offered in this place.

A now a prayer for Nigeria

Thus says Yahweh:
At the favourable time I will answer you,
On the day of salvation I will help you,
I will restore your land and assign you the estates that lie waste

That said and done, my “normal” write-ups resumes effective immediately.
From the archives of mischievous imagination of a crasee baybay..

Still crazy after all these years
President of the republic of zanuidesodwaawuu

Monday, 18 January 2010


Behold my brethren sixty days ago, begineth I a journey upon the mountains to obtaineth for thee a constitution/ agenda that will benefit us all.

Wherefore upon the mountain I geteth this agenda after I tarried so long here. After I cometh down from the mountain, I proceedeth forthwith to the land of the Mediterranean and renewed my spirit and rekindle bilateral relationships with the nation.

Wherein I journeyed back to the land of my fathers to give to you all citizens of the republic of zanuidesodwaawuu.
To my faithful and loyal backyard cabinet members, we shall all drink and be merry. And as I have returned you thee in one piece, I declare three days of celebration. Proceedeth there fore on the next Wednesday to my palace and celebrate.

In the spirit of mountainship and being a president that sends directives from her bb
I have come down with the constitution that is legal and binding to all and sundry. This constitution is supreme and super cedes all other constitution.

I beseech thee to comment on this note…

As I dey mountains for sixty days and I fit go there again if una wahala wan plenty for me.

1. Any idiot/farouk that contests this constitution shall be mutallabed
2. I decide where and when I want to travel
3 I decide who I want to tell and I decide the media house I will grant an interview.

4 Any one that tries or makes an attempt to impeach me shall forfeit all his/her properties

5 As the custodian and upholder of the law, I am the only one entitled to houses abroad. Any member of my cabinet, who owns even a studio flat overseas, will face a jail term of sixteen moons and ten eke days.

6 I reserve the right to travel at any time and send directives from my blackberry

7 I operate on a government that is accountable and transparent and shall in no way or forms accept bribes in form of cash, houses, cars or whatever. However, I can accept all these gifts under the guise of “re election” as most of you are aware that re election is round the corner

8 If you are appointed minister of justice, get a gown, a gavel and go to the court house.

8a All ministers must adhere strictly to the position accorded them. I shall not tolerate in my cabinet a minister running his/her mouth like the barbeach.
Failure to comply, severe consequences,

9 No minister shall visit any country while I am away.
If you have a problem with this agenda and would like to contest it, I suggest thou visitesth the mountain, get your own agenda and form your own country

Her Excellency

L.B engr senator presido Madame de Madame (special agent hosama-obama) fs, pss, etc, etc. aso asf

Monday, 11 January 2010

the complete definition of farouk

An idiot who cant differentiate between an explosive (a bomb) and fireworks (banga )


A specimen or an individual who fails woefully in an attempt to blow up a plane.
An ignoramus who is unable to operate a simple device .

The term farouk can be likened to someone who cant change the batteries of a remote, turn off the tap or even open the door

A biological error that should have been aborted

Dunce, Dundee, odensin, oponu, odoyo, oda, ode, oloshi , idiot

ignoronamoficious specimenidiota derived from the nincompoop family claimed to have been in existence many moons ago.

3 (2FA^3 + 6RO^2 + 7UK^2) + 4(3NGA^3 + 4YEM^2 + 6TG ) – (7GN^3 + 9JND^2+ 2 AMD) =


4BS+ NS2+2D2A=
Where BS= Bull Shit
NS = nonsense
DA- dumb ass

1. in efficient
2. craves attention
3. severely dense and retarded
4. unable to operate a simple device like a TV switch button

potential location should be Guantanamo bay

please note that the term farouk replaces idiot in the dictionary ..

copy write protected...
from the archives of a mischievous imaginatin of a crazy babay

the complete definition of farouk

An idiot who cant differentiate between an explosive (a bomb) and fireworks (banga )


A specimen or an individual who fails woefully in an attempt to blow up a plane.
An ignoramus who is unable to operate a simple device .

The term farouk can be likened to someone who cant change the batteries of a remote, turn off the tap or even open the door

A biological error that should have been aborted

Dunce, Dundee, odensin, oponu, odoyo, oda, ode, oloshi , idiot

ignoronamoficious specimenidiota derived from the nincompoop family claimed to have been in existence many moons ago.

3 (2FA^3 + 6RO^2 + 7UK^2) + 4(3NGA^3 + 4YEM^2 + 6TG ) – (7GN^3 + 9JND^2+ 2 AMD) =


4BS+ NS2+2D2A=
Where BS= Bull Shit
NS = nonsense
DA- dumb ass

1. in efficient
2. craves attention
3. severely dense and retarded
4. unable to operate a simple device like a TV switch button

potential location should be Guantanamo bay

please note that the term farouk replaces idiot in the dictionary ..

copy write protected...
from the archives of a mischievous imaginatin of a crazy babay

Friday, 8 January 2010

the land called anything can happen

Once upon a time in a land called” ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN”
The people of the land were peace loving people; they could walk into their neighbour’s houses and borrow a tuber of yam. They lived peacefully, until one day they woke up and every thing was chaotic. There ruler had died, the gods had called him home just before sunrise.

The town crier had gone round to the village square to announce the passing of their ruler. The women who were just returning from the stream, screamed and screamed,
The men were too numb to utter a word. It was impossible, the king cannot be dead, how be it so? That land was never the same; they never did have a king like that again. The king who visited his subjects if they took ill or where involved in a hunting accident. He wasn’t just their leader he was their father and a friend and now he was gone to be with his ancestors.

The chiefs quickly called for an emergency meeting in a secret location
‘We are all saddened by what has happened to us, what great tragedy has befallen us’ lamented of the chiefs.

‘It is truly sad indeed, but we must make preparations for his burial’ replied the left hand chief and also select a leader immediately
“You are very correct” muttered the chiefs in unison.
But first we must consult the oracle to know whom the gods have chosen.

One day the king decided to go on a journey

‘Where is our king?’ the villagers demanded
“He went to visit the king in the neighbouring village” replied one of the chiefs
“Why would he just leave in a hurry, when he has to be here when the festival commences in three days .”

“He will be back by sunset tomorrow” replied the elder with a big mouth
“Lets hope so, because our king cannot be absent from this festival oh” replied one of the villagers

When he didn’t return on the said day, the villagers knew something was amiss. Did he go to fight a war? Or has he been eaten by wild animals? Has he been kidnapped? Random questions flooded the minds of the villagers, he travelled with his guards, but they were utterly useless bunch those two.

the king returned on the morning of the festival and the village rejoiced but demanded to know where he had been and why he would leave his subjects alone without a reasonable explanation?

The king apologised and said he was averting war between two villages.
Every thing returned to normal.
A few moons after, the villagers woke up to realise their king had left.
Ohs and ahs flew every where. “Where could he have gone”? Demanded the village drunk
“Erm, he went to visit the king about sixteen villages from here, he will be back soon” replied the elder with the big mouth.
“How soon is soon?” asked a villager
“He went to congratulate the new king of that town and would be back before the end of the week”
“ummm , I am just saying he had things to put in order before embarking on this journey”

Seven Sundays later the ruler hadn’t returned, and the villagers demanded that the next in line to the king be made the interim leader until the king returned. A group of chiefs agreed, but some refused and insisted on waiting for the king.

“We can’t be this long without a ruler” screamed the leader of the angry youth

“We can’t just elect a leader like that, we have to follow protocols” replied the fat chief

“We need a leader, a village without a leader is opening its doors to anarchy...” replied a youth.

“Shut up, what do you know” asked the big mouthed chief.

“Enough, sir to know that a land as blessed as ours without a leader in this present time will be a laughing stock to other villages” responded the leader of the youth.
“don’t speak to your elders like that , young man” responded one of the chiefs

“ah now I know you are hiding something, tomorrow , we shall embark on a journey to visit the village where our leader is!!” said one of the youths
“hear ! hear !! hear!!” they all chorused and left the elders
“all we are saying …….”

from the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazybabe

Charity begins at home (random musings/rantings of a crazy babe)

Charity begins at home (random musings/rantings of a crazy babe)

Charity they say begins at home so the saying goes…
But when charity begins abroad, how do you quantify them.

Check out the universities abroad, 3/4 of international students are Nigerians. If the government can think of how much money is being poured into the revenue of these countries, they would over haul and spiritually cleanse the educational system or take the minister of education for some special prayer sessions.

Pot holes and devils trap every where. The major roads are a big disgrace but the roads to your houses run smoothly that I could practice my dancing on the road skills on, and on that same dilapidated road some one lost a breadwinner...
The last time I travelled on a road like this I had to pinch myself just to confirm if I was in a bus or had gone for ACUPUNCTURE.

Government hospitals are usually top class and renowned specialists are always found there, alas, your government hospital has nothing but a chair and a desk for the receptionist, a bench for the patients on a first come, first sit basis. And when a patient has been ill for a while, running helter skelter from one test to another, trying to diagnose malaria when the patient just has a cold. Or the patient has cancer and you do not have the facilities to detect a tumour before it eats the entire organs of the victim. Eventually you refer the patient abroad for further “check up” and a family is unable to raise the money for further tests abroad, because of lack of equipment in our country?

What will then happen, if one day you develop a heart attack and you are rushed to the hospital?
And there are no doctors on call? Or no didn’t you hear THEY ARE ON STRIKE (sounds familiar)
Thankfully, some nurses are idly chatting who can’t be bothered with you interrupting their gist gives you a bag of drip and asks you to find your square root? While they continue on the latest gist.. do I blame them

By the time your assistant is making arrangements to fly you abroad for treatment, its too late...

Remember the saying “a stitch in time”??

And then you ask the government for funds to equip the hospitals, they decide to deliberate on it. In the process of deliberating, they are spending millions and zillions of naira on stupid things that will not hold water tomorrow.
Providence forbids that one of you falls ill today and requires an urgent medical attention. (urgent in the real sense of the word that flying six hours to London or twelve hours to America or how many hours it will take you to fly to Germany or Saudi Arabia) by the time you get to your local hospital and you find out that there aren’t any medical equipments to take up your plight. Before you can think of procuring a medical visa, its judgement day for you…

The truth is, if they government can fix the education and health sectors of the country, the amount of income the country will generate at the end of the year. But, nay ijekuje has so eaten deep that they have forgotten there is a place called tomorrow, where the hunter will become the hunted... and where bush meat go catch hunter.

Remember, the wealth you may have acquired while in office and your constituent has no electricity supply (Problem Has Changed Name is another issue for another day) no form of clean water, no good roads, absolutely no basic amenities whatsoever. Please be reminded that you came into this world with nothing and with nothing shall you leave with.

What’s it going to be?
Renovate the hospitals and over haul the schools, the roads. ?
Provide the basic amenities for your citizens
Or you just gonna sit there and deliberate on this issue?

Every government should and must take pride in the happiness and welfare of her citizens.
The countries you go and dash out money are getting richer, while you are getting poorer and more myopic…

Oh, well this crazy girl rants again abi?
If only you can devote half an hour, reflect on this piece, think outside the box.
Look beyond the present
What future beholds the unborn child?

One day bush meat go catch hunter………
From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crasee babay
Still crazy after all these years