Sunday, 2 May 2010


The story so far….. well not so far

Not like there ever was one ..

Ok this is the 2nd part of specimen Y how it all began ……

Some where on earth..
Before some inhabitants of the world lost touch with reality :

Elder 1: “we saw a beautiful flower we would like to pluck from your compound”

Okonkwo: “hmmm, beautiful flower you say?”

Elder 1: “Oh yes, we can see that the flower is well nurtured and watered and properly bred, 2 market days from now we shall be a paying an official visit to make known our intentions”

2market days later

Okonkwo: “welcome our guests, I hope you had a nice journey “

Elder 1 “ ah , yes lets get down to business and explain our intentions , like my kinsman said we saw a flower in your compound we would like to pluck “

Okonkwo: “gentle men you are speaking in parables.
I do not have flowers in my compound except shrubs, a pawpaw and orange tree in my back garden. Erm, if you may can you be more direct and factual “

Elder 3: “it is said that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour …. “

Okonkwo’s uncle: "very true, indeed, very true...”

Elder 2: “we would like to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage”
Okonkwo: “hmm, my daughter you say. Please excuse me a moment while I converse with my family “

They adjourn to the bedroom to discuss

Okonkwo: “did you hear that?
They have come to ask for the hand of our daughter in marriage and tradition says the first daughter should be married off before her younger ones. “

chidera is busy singing and dancing

Chidera: God am good he has done me well, oh my soul rise up and praise the Lord
“Eh finally they have come and ask for the hand of adaku in marriage? Thank you Lord I was beginning to think she would grow grey hair in this house. Your name be praised oh Jehovah. Chineke dalu nne ri oh (thank you so much Lord) “

Okonkwo: “any way, now that they have officially asked and they know what our custom demands, let us entertain our guests. biko, tell olachi to pound that a fufu very well and that bush meat kenneth ( pronounced Kennetheh ) brought last night , abeg let her include it in the bitter leaf soup . “

Okonkwo’s uncle: “now we have heard you, and have also received your gifts as tradition demands.

Okonkwo’s uncle so you want to marry adaku our daughter. That is good news oh “

Elder 1: Erm no, actually it’s your other daughter “

Okonkwo: Chioma?

Elder 1: “No the other one “

Okonkwo: “Ahh, hmmm you mean oluchi?”

He laughs out loud the idiotic elder

Elder 1” Not that one either”.

Okonkwo: “ahn, ahn that would be nneka? “

they all shake their heads in unison,

Elder 3 “Not that one either “

Okonkwo and his family looks at one another

Okonkwo’s uncle: “are you sure you have the right address? For I fear you are in the wrong house”

Elder 2: looks at the middle aged man who hasn’t said a word since the inception of the conversation.

Elder 2: “jasper, is this not the house? “

Jasper: “yes, uncle it is this house.”

Chidera: “well, my last daughter Ugochi is only twelve and she is preparing for her JSSC Exams. Surely you can’t …… “

Interrupts elder one

Elder 1: “Exactly she is the flower we seek “.

Okonkwo’s uncle: “You mean you want us to nurture her for you and when the time is right you will come and marry her?”

“Erm no, we wish to marry her now “replied the third elder

Okonkwo: Now!!! She is still young and besides I am sure your son (he looks at jasper) is too young to be married?”

Elder 2: “Actually, Jasper here is the one who wants to marry Ugochi “!

Okonkwo: “Marry gini my Ugochi spills his schnapps on the floor “tufiakwa, may the gods forbid. She is the youngest of my daughters, “

Elder 1: Oh, no we would like that young girl; you see we like to catch them young especially now that she is untainted. He married wife no 1 was she was 16, wife no 2 at 15 wife no 3 at 13 at u see if Ugochi marries him, she will be wife no 4 and his youngest wife ever. ”

Okonkwo: “my own 12 year old daughter, you wan catch young ngwanu,
“I will FAROUK you before you YERIMA my daughter “

Elder 2: “You mean you are rejecting our proposal? “

Okonkwo:” I am not only rejecting your proposal, I will also experiment on you the cutlass I just bought from the market last week. See you people should vanish before I open my eyes and castrate one of you …. Infact I will report this abomination to the elders council “

elder 1 : "What about the gifts we brought?? "

To be continued


Anonymous said...

LoL at I'll FAROUK you b4 you YERIMA my daughter. Jooor oh, shameless ppl

Anonymous said...

OMG! Experiment with the cutlass and Farouq the Yerima. LNGKM!!!


Interesting...wish he could actually try out the cutlass on those useless fellows and chop their crazy heads off(lol). Next time they come to planet earth, they won't think about marrying innocent lil' girls