Tuesday, 11 February 2014


Dear power people or what ever you are called now , It is with great pleasure from the back that I write this letter.

Should I be asking how you are? That would be a waste of resources. I heard gist sha, I hear you guys were formerly known as "electricity corporation of nigeria (ECN) and that time your head was kwarect.

That if you "want to take light" ( me, I won't write cut off power supply, this letter is not english composition) As I was saying, they say you people used to announce that you want to take light.

But nay, times have changed. You will just carry light like camel that has no home training.

*inserts hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss*

But we will light candle and start singing “ I am the future of the world , I am the hope of my nation…”

So what happened now? What changed? Ok, you people changed name to NEPA- National Electric Power Authority. (otherwise known as Never Expect Power Always.)

When authority enters something wahala must dey. You people will be flexing muscles on top of light, abeg enter iyana-oworo and flex muscles there joor.

you people did authority so tey una authority una sef to NEP PLC (No Electric Power, Please light candle)

and then you changed name again ashawo people.. to PHCN.

Power Holding Company of Nigeria ( yorubas have a saying like oruko lon so eniyan...)

And ever since you started calling your self Holding , you've been holding the light as if you will receive specially moulded slap from Lord Voldermont.

*interlude* Let there be light .... *ends interlude*

Has your life improved with this name changing and changes. ?

Shebi you know the original meaning of PHCN is PROBLEM HAS CHANGED NAME. You just changed name, no difference and And now you are BISCO- DISCO-GENCO-SISCO-REENCO-EJETERAMCO

Be giving us light 10seconds per day! Kilode, what is our offence? Did your babalawo say it is us that is doing you people ni?

This one you people are behaving like this on earth? Shey you won't carry this madness to heaven oh? will you see the road to heaven with your attitude?

Can you people see your lives outside? Sheri aiye yin lode! Upgrade your service nau, its only in this country people charge half full batteries. Spend more money on fuel than your actual "estimated, ridiculous monthly bills. Pity your conditions na. And the days you decide to give us light, we know that bill is coming the next day. Bill that even devil will shout. You kukuma cannot give us light 24/7 sef. Light that we rarely see to use and iron our cloth and watch feelim. Wait fest, Where do you people even see light to print the bills sef?

I forgot to mention something sef, you see when you suddenly cut light lojiji I just start singing “Ese ni bi eti bere Ese ibi teba de Adupe oh nepa Eti mu na lo”

I am yours sincerely @madamedemadame

From the archives of a mischievous imagination of a crazy babey still crazy after all these years. ©IYALODE 2014

Thursday, 6 February 2014


THE LIPTON FIASCO I am a tea drinker or a tea drunk. , I love tea and my tea loves me . God bless my tea and God bless me.
I drink all sorts of tea and I love it from camomile tea to green tea, to mistletoe tea to moringa tea. I love my tea. Heaven and earth may fade away, but God forbid my tea fades away.

If you do agbo in a teabag I will drink it. I have different collections of teas in my house. One fateful day I ran out of tea and eventually settled for the N20.00 lipton sachets ones, but I then decided to just go and buy a packet of tea bag and off I went to the store to go buy lipton + other groceries.

There were teas and there are teas but I had a mission to accomplish, I had to conquer the unconquerable. I saw lipton tea calling on me, pick me, pick me and I picked it and what did I see on the pack “open to win an suv “. I can actually drink tea and win and ESSUUUHUUVEEE!!! I CAN kill two birds with one stone. Somebody shout halleluyah!!!

I used my hand picked up the tea, put it in the shopping basket alongside other groceries, walked up to the till, removed money from my back pocket, smiled at the cashier while thinking of the beautiful ESSUUHUUUVEE , paid the cashier, collected my balance, carried my groceries, bye-byed the cashier, opened the door my self , called okada, climbed okada, alighted at my destination, power walked to my house, opened my gate, entered my house, sat down brought out my lipton tea bag… ( ESSUUUHUUVEEE IS MINE) , tore the wrap , opened the pack NO ESSUUUHUUUVEE inside the pack, no RAFFLE TICKET not even a TRY YOUR LUCK NEXT TIME.

Nay, they cant come and go and fall my hand like this na, no way.
I gave them the benefit of doubt . I boiled water expecting a secret message in the tea like asking me to solve a riddle or something. ( from something out of professor snape’s classes)

NO ESSHUUUVEEE!!!!!!!!! I thought it was factory error. Finished that PACKET went and bought another packet. Same thing ni oh. NO ESSHUUUVEEE!

PS:: I have gone back to my PG TIPS biko.
from the archives of a mischievous imagination of a crazy babe. still crazy after all these years.

(c) IYALODE 2014