Tuesday, 13 July 2010

JAMBOREE 101 OWANBE @ 6.6 COWRIES

There are many ways of celebrating some people like it low keyed – go to your place of worship , have a thanksgiving service and invite your society members and the congregation for a small “come chop “ party, not forgetting the fact that your friends and neighbours will stroll in later that evening.

The other category of people prefers the “aiye aigbo orun amo” kinda of party. It isn’t all about money oh, it’s all about show off and what better time to show off, now what we are fimty yias old.
So this is how I think we can save money and still have a blast call it JAMBOREE 101 OWANBE @ 6.6 COWRIES

FIRE WORKS BANGA AND BISCO
Anyway every one has to contribute if they want their names to go into the history pages.
Well, we know that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad visited you a while ago and there are speculations that he has erm what do they call it nuclear weapons. Assuming it is true, just ask him for a carton or kpali of fire works like bisco and banga that should add a bit of sparkle to the celebration and you save

ANNIVERSARY PARADE AND MATCH PAST

Upload pictures on facebook, flicker, twit pix... stop stressing

Jingle advert billboards documentaries- don’t worry about that all you have to do is twit it , then facebook it and people will like it – you save N320 million. Its free thanks to zukky

FIREWOOD - GENERATOR AND MUSIC
Chevron, Mobil , shell etc have been in the country for so long , way before most of us were born, this is their time to contribute to the economy and I am not talking oil spillage here. They can supply kerosene and fire wood together with dimsuu(diesel ) and pentirol (petrol) to power the generators seeing that we cant RELY on nepa on this one, before they disgrace us when we be boogying it down on the dance floor. You know there is no parry without music oh

SECURITY
Mama Charlie colonized us they should be happy that despite all the malaria, kwashiorkor and warapa cabal and zonses that inflicted us, we made it to 50. Many would have died as a result of lack of medical facilities, but we thank God that we attained the age of 50. It would only be fair that they also contribute after all their shild has clocked 50 and it is marvellous in their eyes. They should supply us security according to the riches of Scotland Yard


ASO-EBI
Austria, Switzerland and Indonesia should supply the aso-ebi. Indonesia can supply the Ankara while Austria and Switzerland can supply the laces required. Or what’s the point of a Nigerian owanbe without aso-ebi, it usually adds colour to an event (even though I sometimes think it is vain). Let it be as a sort of congratulatory gift especially from Switzerland since we have boosted their economy when our hard earned ego visits their banks on business and pleasure. I am sure aso-ebi is also known as miscellaneous – you save N120 million

PRETERIOR/ INTERIOR/ POSTERIOR AND OUTERIOR DÉCOR
Don t bother with that just ask South Africa to donate the balloons, drapes etc they used in the last world cup; I am sure they will be willing, after all what brothers are for?

Now we have the basic in place, its now time for the main de main- the koko of the party
ITEM 7 – MENU MENU MENU!! DRINKS


Guinness and Coca-Cola must contribute after all most Nigerians have a friend called udeme and also a beer time of 17:59.; you know we cant serve our shildrens Guinness lest they get drunk over us, however we can give them coca-cola even though it will make them high --.
these companies must supply all our drinks according to the ‘oti ‘and ogogoro in their depots. If they tell you they cant afford it , tell them their lease is up and you wont be renewing their tenancies and someone else would be moving in – STRONG BROW BEER and TANDI GUARANA SOFT DRINKS BOTTLING PLC


What is a party without?
R.S.V P
This is that stage of the party where you will see posh razzing up over a plate of rice and moi- moi.
Just write to 50 countries tell them you need a favour 15 bags of rice per country shouldn’t affect their economies. Jamaica and Brazil can supply for the beans for the moi- moi

Malaysia can supply the barrels of ground nut oils and palm oils
Taiwan and china can supply the pots and adogan together with 10 very long and big omorogun (spatula, eba turner. whatever you wanna call it)
Ask Pakistan to donate the condiments i.e. pepper and tomatoes. We grow onions in our own back yard we can afford it
We know party meats are usually the same size of the crown of a cork, that too can be found at our own back yard. So meat shouldn’t be a problem…

And yes, I do have a donation – a box of matches—

PARTY SOUVENEIR
Ask Howard Webb to distribute the rest of the yellow cards he didn’t give out in south Africa- he still has a container load on the high sea

AFTER PARTY CLEANING UP AND ALL
Please note that all members of this 6.6 committee will also serve as members of shago-shago committee
We don’t want litters around
Keep Nigeria clean

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy baybay
Still crazy after all these years and loving it

2 comments:

Rosanwo Babatunde said...

Wonderful idea, need to send a copy to Goodluck Jonathan asap.

Gbola Adiamoh said...

Well thought, funny and crisp. I hope (they) see it too. C'est bon!