Tuesday 20 April 2010

bros Jamb!!

Dear broda ~Jamb,

I for like to give you all the dilly dally dem teash me for inglish . but I no sabi where I go start from. The letter wey I dey write you sef, I no know if e be formal ,semi-formal or informal letter.

My own be say I wan talk my mind, or make we put am this way , I dey give you voice mail.
Una no dey pity person!!!

I don WRITE JAMB AGAIN. Na 1997 I write my first Jamb, den I still young so when una fail me, e no pain me. 1998 una seize my result, I look una I no talk .
1999 I write jamb again , una no dey consider say to fill Jamb form na exam?
I write am again third time . this time una carry three different results come.
Jamb office result different, the one una send to university different, the one una post come my house different.

Whether na una abi una machine don crase I no understand. Any way by the time una go sort una sef out , the semester don end for that university. Na im the v. p say make I go write another Jamb ….

Kai , me wey dey boast say I go enter university before we celebrate millennium una fall my hand….. AGAIN

Una no even know say to get d money na JAMB ?? and if person write Jamb 3 time and e no pass the fourth time suppose free nau….

Una no dey hear wey our broses them dey say “buy one japan , get two Taiwan free”?

I persevere , I fill another form, go orile buy Jamb past questions again, since all the ones I get , I don dash am out, sake of say I don enter university after 3 attempts.
I even reach oshodi buy key point join ….

This time around una say result WITHHELD. Cut off mark na 200 , all marks na integer how una take carry character enter mark. Which one be WITHHELD.??? Na mark
How una dey mark am sef? Na name and location una dey use? Make una no think say I write c , come cross am off una think say na E OH.

Now, 2010 I don write jamb again, if I no pass ehn

Una go refund all my money
From 1997 – 2010
Including all the t- fare from bariga to okoko
From shibiri to orile
And from etegbin to odon gunyan


Make una no think say I dey joke oh .me and farouk those days been dey play “ayo “oh
Or where una tink say money dey come from. U think say my papa get one room for inside our compound wey we put person wey dey vomit money. I don nearly forget sef all the math set and scientific calculate una seize abi una fapp.. abeg I need am sharpily ..

If to say I know sef,I for just dey gather the money small small, I for just start business. But because I dey carry 1st every time, I say make I try write am again.
After all na aaliyah of blessed memory talk am say , if at first u don’t succeed , dust your self up and try again.
I don try , I don tire.. if una fail me for this jamb. Make una just refund my money. Cos as I dey see am so .. na mama Charlie village get me oh .

Meanwhile, na only una no dey strike.????

And again, I wan bail abeg , no be una life I come. EHEN , before I forget help me tell that ya sister NECO say she go soon get voicemail…

Battery don nearly die, useless nepa don carry light…
I go hail u later !!!
Ximena

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crasee babay , still crazyafterall these years

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