Excuse me while i rant.

Excuse me while I rant But if you want to grumble go and jog round sahara desert then come back here, I will be waiting with a bottle of hot coca-cola of Life.

Where do I start from? My beloved country a land that once was calm and beautiful. It seems the centre no longer holds sef.?
The nation is no longer calm and sadly, some people haven’t gotten the memo that there’s fire on the mountain.
Where is the Nigeria of yesteryears? The Nigeria our parents loved and fondly talked about? The Nigeria our forefathers fought for?

Those who fought for our freedom must be rolling in their graves right now. The labours of our heroes past seems to be in vain. This is not the Nigeria they fought for? Who wants to fight for a country that is so ridden with corruption that I wonder how long it will take for them to legalize it sef?
A country that is as old as we are and after years of ‘independence’ we suffer from a chronic case of epileptic waraparicious power supply and somebody blames it on the winches? ( Abeg, free them winshes)
Like power supply isn’t an issue already, Boko Haram rears its ugly head and it is difficult for us to find a solution, but it is easy to pay an intelligence agency to spy on the internet activities of innocent ones like yours truly?
Boko Haram has been destroying lives and properties since God knows when and they are still gaining momentum. When are we going to deal with this boko Haram issue sef? Is it until they wipe out the entire nation? Or are you waiting for them to die a natural death?

Jesus Wept!!!

Maybe you don’t realize the magnitude of this wahala. Perhaps, you will when they cripple the economic activities in the north. Who knows you may just be on top of the situation and you are working towards crushing them in June. Except it was June of 2012 or is it 20-gbogboro Wake up who ever is in charge and smell the bongo tea.

Are you tired of listening to me rant? I just started..

As if this is not enough, ASUU is on strike and 40+ days later, we are frying puff-puff to mark the traditional 40 days outing service. Why?
It has gotten to a point that ASUU strike (ASK 340) is now a compulsory module and a course requirement for all undergrads. Shame!!! Oh btw, ASK340 --- means AsuuStriKe It has become a norm.
It seems your university education is incomplete without this course module. LE SIGH

Toh, After all has been ‘striked ‘and ‘struked’ our nearly done- half baked- medium rare graduates are thrown into the labour market. The market that never closes. How bad is that?
0 We deserve applause; so far we are going just great. Still trying to process this, behold another shocker!

CHILD NOT BRIDE .

As it is, it is the joy and life ambition of some perverted mentally derailed drosophila melagasta of a sorry excuse of a beast of no gender to marry a child. How real can you be? You feel comfortable marrying a child who is just discovering life and you make her a wife?
A huge responsibility like marriage on a child who doesn’t understand why y = 2x. But wait, have you given out your girl child (ren) in marriage(s) and you feel comfortable marrying one? If you don’t see any thing wrong in it, biko go and deep ya head in bar beach, you need liberation. And may God forgive you as you do so. Amen.
For what you are doing is man’s inhumanity to an innocent girl child.
Of course, I am just ranting. By the time you pipu will close this link, we shall forget all I have said.

Abeg , lemme go and look for cold coke to drink jare..
I cant come and go and kill myself..

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy babay Still crazy, still normal and loving it... Ximena © 2013

SEND FORTH TO "YONDER"

I am being mischievous, if you wanna rejoin this issue, I beg you first of all go and mop the bar beach then you can come back and preach , you have the floor


Has anyone ever wondered or is it just me why we hold elaborate parties for our dearly departed? AS in “the liveband-fightoverRiceandPoundedYam kind of party oh (and no party is successful without someone complaining about not being served).

If they don’t complain, you aint doing it right.

Back to my story:

Someone dies and we celebrate the life they lived before (whether or not it was worth emulating) Whether they stole money and built houses in Dubai or they stole money and did the Robin Hood approach. We sha must celebrate a life well spent?

Toh, was the life indeed well spent or well wasted???

I sha don’t understand when they say they are not celebrating the life of the person but that they are sending forth the person.

Edakun (Excuse me) , sending forth to where???

Help me out!!!

You are sending someone forth to the great beyond and you are here on earth wining and dining and you leave them in a box? If you are sending them forth, shouldn’t you provide them with some “items” to take along for the journey??

Items like kulikuli, ijebu gari, roasted corn, agbalumo, fried fish , tinco etc. Should you not send them along with their degrees, dips and certificates, just in case they find a more “promising “ job in the “great beyond”

And also, some good clothes too. Abi you want them to starve and be naked in the “great beyond”

And besides, they probably will need a job too.

Abi efe kin wo shonkpa losi great beyond ni ( you want them to go there empty handed? )

Another one that baffles me, someone dies ( as in somersaults and dies( soggingly lojiji ) suddenly and burial takes place within that week. And then aso-ebi is out already.

Were they waiting for the person to die ni?

And those people who sing and dance to “ile lonlo tarara” how sure are you that “ile lonlo tarara”

Ile (home) might very well be Hades Or it may be heaven When you people are busy singing and dancing to “ile lon lo tarara” and the person is in hell nko? Do you know how many curses they will be pouring out from the “great beyond” especially if you used the monies they left behind for the parry???

Small time you people will say someone is doing you.

Curse cant catch you ba?

OkbYE.
I’m out
From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy baybay Still crazy after all these years © 2013

AKPRADO THE GIVER!

The Gospel as recorded in the book of Dashington Chapter 1: 1-15

1.
And thou shalt soar thy wild oats upon the land and have many baby mamas.
2.
Thou shalt have half a score
3.
Wherefore thou shalt waketh up one day and decided to take the bone of thy bone
4.
And thou shalt arise and proceedeth to the land of Ibom which lieth the town of Yuo
5.
Ye shalt choose upon thy self a handmaiden( one of thy bàby mamas) from the lineage of Mac as wife.
6.
And thou shalt be merry with all pomp and pageantry.
7.
And this union shall be pleasing in the sight of the king of yuo and he shall bestow upon thee and thy handmaiden and gift of a beast from the east and thou shalt name the beast "PRADO".
8.
And now thou shalt proceed across the waters to a land where thou shalt be joined in holy matrimony with thy handmaiden.
9.
Thou shalt steal the shine from whoever tieth the knot on that day.
10.
Thou shalt infiltrate social media and trend on twitter.
11.
And behold, a man called David the son of Mark shall bestow upon thee another. gift and thou shalt name it FERRARI .
12.
And the people shalt screameth and curseth the son of Mark for such evils.
13.
And thou shalt return to thy father's land and take care of thy baby mamas
14.
And thou shalt seek out Ximena the daughter of Ona-A
15.
And thou shalt give her the ferrari and the Lord shalt bless thee and thy soul unto this day.
FROM the mischievous imagination of a crazy babe still crazy after all these years (C) 2013