Saturday, 3 March 2012

I am my own government

I, a citizen of Nigerian or so i am believed to think. When we were told don’t ask what you can do for your country but what your country can do for you. Sadly, how can we do anything for a country that has done nothing for us, I guess that saying has to be remodelled and rephrased. deep sigh




Or what can I, Ximena do for a country that has made no provisions whatsoever for my welfare. As it is right now the govt hasn’t made adequate provisions for our wellbeing. Basic Amenities that is the right of every citizen we have been deprived or simply put we produce ourselves,




There are so many Nigerians living way beyond poverty line as if that is not enough they decided to remove subsidy on fuel cos they are broke. More like we give you minimum wage and we take back our fuel subsidy. Apparently, they do not know the effect the removal of fossil fuel subsidy will have on d masses, here is a break down: let us assume Mr Chibuidum Subsidy earns 25K per month and you expect him to buy fuel at 141 naira/ litre. How do you expect him to survive when he has? 1 mouth to feed 2. School fees to pay 3, transportation cost to cover 4. Rents 5, medical expenses 6 Utility bills to settle A child who is ill and aged parents back in the village.




Now with d removal of subsidy, everything has increased geometrically and exponentially and sadly, his salary remains stunted. How do they expect him to survive on d same salary structure? If Nigeria is broke, it isn’t our fault. We provide everything by and for ourselves, including medicals and excluding the breathe of fresh air. Do can we even get free medicals in a public hospital, cos i am sure they will charge you for sitting on their plastic chairs in the reception.




If Nigeria is broke, cut off your excesses and your wasteful spendings, we were not a part of it in the first instance. We will not clean up your messes by making us suffer, Remove the subsidy on corruption cut out d unnecessary ,estacodes outrageous ssalaries of NASS and get rid of some Specially prepared specilia also known as Special Advisers since there is nothing special about their advices.




For a country that is still developing or in its “stage of nascent democracy “,(i love d word nascent... ) our senators earn well too much; let there be a principle of checks and balances. Let the senators earn 50k per month and let them feel d effects and I am sure they will come out with their own ~#occupythis.

You have provided nothing for us, why should we suffer for you. For a govt that hasn’t been prudent in her spending, how can we trust you with our oyeel-subsidy money?

Our senior citizens cry and groan over none payment of arrears, pensions and gratuity, sadly some struggle and die in d process. Why do you think we can trust you with our money ever again when you haven’t provided discounted bus fares for students and the over 60s? Medically we suffer. Our roads are not good and all we have got is the valley of the shadow of death.




How about security, police bullets n brutality strikes you by day and armed robbers’ machetes strikes you by night. A country that can’t boast of constant power supply. 2012 don come oh ( perhaps soundsultan should do a revised edition of his go buy candle song)




As it is I produce my own source of power supply ,my own source of water supply, the govt doesn’t feed me neither do they care if I live, eat or drink. I even go as far as providing my own security as I can’t even trust my life with the Nigerian police. (I no wan die for earth go collect query for heaven)




So don’t ask me what I can do for my government cos , I AM MY OWN GOVERNMENT

Friday, 5 August 2011

THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY ANTHEM

THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY ANTHEM

My mind Is now off work
Monday to Thursday
And today is Friday
Glory be to God


And my boss stares at me
Brings me work to do
Soon will be 4pm
Closing time for me

Now my laptop freezes
And my bb pings
And I am on twitter
Friday is trending

My friends are on facebook,
Updating status
And d clock says tick tock
4’o clock is nigh

Now the week is over
Suyas drawing near
Visions of beer bottles
Is still on my mind.

Amen
From the archives of d mischievous imagination of a crazy behbeh
© ximena 2011
Still crazy after all these years

Monday, 24 January 2011

dear jega-my niggar -LIKE THAT NO SUPPOSE DEY OH

Dear inec shairman, aka jega-my niggar
How far now ? I be see you and bros jay-jay for teefee I say make I holla atcha , na then nepa come carry light. (what a wicked world we live in).
I hia say una say make we wash hand before we go register ? which kain moshin una dey use sef? If my hands are dirty, the machine should be able to read my prints regardless, right? Like that no suppose dey oh.
Besides, water to some people has become an essential commodity and will only wash their hands before and after eating and also after answering the call of nature. The last I checked washing hands cos of legisration doesn’t apply.
Make we analyze am sef, say for the sake of argument I wash my hand before I leaf my ause, after I don walk 5 km to d nearest registration centre, my hand no go dirty?
Do you know how many people I will say hello to and shake their hands, people like
Mutiu
Sefiu
Ikenna
Pius
Livinus
Lienus
Longinus
Hyacinth
Ireti
Sakiratu and secondus…
After shaking ten or more people would my hand still be clean ? or it would be cleaner—bros like that no suppose dey oh, you for just say make we use DAZZ wash hand nau.
If you still want our hands clean and void of dirty, perhaps you should supply water tankers to all registration centres and also accompany it with a trailer load on OMO , OMO SUPER BLUE OMO , SO “ na so so scent n aim all of us go dey scent” .

Again, you want people to turn our en-MASSE and register, please provide some gbedu for us, we can listen to oleku or scape goat while queuing like primary school pupils waiting to sing the nashunal aitem.
Oh and some people are tired of hearing “ heya battery just die nau”
LIKE THAT NO SUPPOSE DEY OH

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy babe