SEND FORTH TO "YONDER"

I am being mischievous, if you wanna rejoin this issue, I beg you first of all go and mop the bar beach then you can come back and preach , you have the floor


Has anyone ever wondered or is it just me why we hold elaborate parties for our dearly departed? AS in “the liveband-fightoverRiceandPoundedYam kind of party oh (and no party is successful without someone complaining about not being served).

If they don’t complain, you aint doing it right.

Back to my story:

Someone dies and we celebrate the life they lived before (whether or not it was worth emulating) Whether they stole money and built houses in Dubai or they stole money and did the Robin Hood approach. We sha must celebrate a life well spent?

Toh, was the life indeed well spent or well wasted???

I sha don’t understand when they say they are not celebrating the life of the person but that they are sending forth the person.

Edakun (Excuse me) , sending forth to where???

Help me out!!!

You are sending someone forth to the great beyond and you are here on earth wining and dining and you leave them in a box? If you are sending them forth, shouldn’t you provide them with some “items” to take along for the journey??

Items like kulikuli, ijebu gari, roasted corn, agbalumo, fried fish , tinco etc. Should you not send them along with their degrees, dips and certificates, just in case they find a more “promising “ job in the “great beyond”

And also, some good clothes too. Abi you want them to starve and be naked in the “great beyond”

And besides, they probably will need a job too.

Abi efe kin wo shonkpa losi great beyond ni ( you want them to go there empty handed? )

Another one that baffles me, someone dies ( as in somersaults and dies( soggingly lojiji ) suddenly and burial takes place within that week. And then aso-ebi is out already.

Were they waiting for the person to die ni?

And those people who sing and dance to “ile lonlo tarara” how sure are you that “ile lonlo tarara”

Ile (home) might very well be Hades Or it may be heaven When you people are busy singing and dancing to “ile lon lo tarara” and the person is in hell nko? Do you know how many curses they will be pouring out from the “great beyond” especially if you used the monies they left behind for the parry???

Small time you people will say someone is doing you.

Curse cant catch you ba?

OkbYE.
I’m out
From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy baybay Still crazy after all these years © 2013

AKPRADO THE GIVER!

The Gospel as recorded in the book of Dashington Chapter 1: 1-15

1.
And thou shalt soar thy wild oats upon the land and have many baby mamas.
2.
Thou shalt have half a score
3.
Wherefore thou shalt waketh up one day and decided to take the bone of thy bone
4.
And thou shalt arise and proceedeth to the land of Ibom which lieth the town of Yuo
5.
Ye shalt choose upon thy self a handmaiden( one of thy bàby mamas) from the lineage of Mac as wife.
6.
And thou shalt be merry with all pomp and pageantry.
7.
And this union shall be pleasing in the sight of the king of yuo and he shall bestow upon thee and thy handmaiden and gift of a beast from the east and thou shalt name the beast "PRADO".
8.
And now thou shalt proceed across the waters to a land where thou shalt be joined in holy matrimony with thy handmaiden.
9.
Thou shalt steal the shine from whoever tieth the knot on that day.
10.
Thou shalt infiltrate social media and trend on twitter.
11.
And behold, a man called David the son of Mark shall bestow upon thee another. gift and thou shalt name it FERRARI .
12.
And the people shalt screameth and curseth the son of Mark for such evils.
13.
And thou shalt return to thy father's land and take care of thy baby mamas
14.
And thou shalt seek out Ximena the daughter of Ona-A
15.
And thou shalt give her the ferrari and the Lord shalt bless thee and thy soul unto this day.
FROM the mischievous imagination of a crazy babe still crazy after all these years (C) 2013

ALARINKA'S COMING TO TOWN

ALARINKA IS COMING TO TOWN

Tune : Santa clause is coming to town.
Singing

“you better watch out,

You better not pout,

Better hide all ur shekpe bottles

Ala rinka’s coming to town”

His going around

Like a yoyo

Gonna find out

Who’s jobless as he

Alarinka’s coming to town “

Why is he coming to town? 1 wonder, its not like its Christmas or something . I don’t want to get bored but I heard from someone who heard from someone who had from someone that alarinka is on a good governance tour.


Good governance tour of what or who or why?

“What is being good governance ?” “Who is being good governed? “ Good governance for what?

Good governance of a visionless era?

Good governance of one bomb / week ?

Good governance of fuel subsidy removal?

Good governance of corruption?

Good governance of changing university names?

Good governance of inconsistent stories?

Or abi is it good governance of cassava bread?

MAY THE LORD FORGIVE ALL THOSE THAT DESERVE TO BE FORGIVABLE. AMEN

Who asked him to do excursion? Oga oh, the geography teacher must be in a good mood oh, And parents of the good governance school must be extremely generous to fund this good governance excursion( tax payers money)

So now that Alarinka is going about sharing the good governance tidings? Someone tell me how does his visit affect the price of fish in the market.

Or does it prevent ori (Shea butter) from melting in the sun)

Or because Alarinka is coming to town I should now come and use ladder and climb knorr cube ?

Or use curry paste as liquid foundation?

And I heard that a certain ruler in far away igodomigodo land warned alarinka about his visit to his palace. Its not everyone that has time for irinkurin.

Some people have work to do nau.

Any one who wakas like alarinka is just looking for abuku and that was what he got when the ruler of igodomigodo land told him to bring along his food items when he is coming to town? Afterall , whenever you go visiting you don’t go empty handed, you must bear gifts of physical gifts and not gifts of good governance.

Is when you don’t have work to do that you begin to loiter the streets under the pretext of good governance tour.

He shall should remember that arinka nja bata sha.

And if he doesn’t have work to do , he should keep Nigeria clean by picking up the pieces of refuse as he waka’s about town.

Then we can now say we have come and have good governance of “keep Nigeria Clean”.
. from the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy babe. still crazy after all these years. ximena (c)2013