Power outage/ black out what ever you call it these days at an international airport somewhere on earth. Immigration procedure and check in was at a stand still, this just reminds me of our own version of volcanic ash... yup.
If that can happen at an international airport, I wonder what the domestic airport would be going through. One would have thought that with all the money, airport tax, car parking tax, standing up tax, offloading tax, and the fine-you-pay-if-your-car-is-parked-wrongly tax and the awon-boys tax they could not afford to put a let-there-be light generator , mbok ( deep sigh).
Who is to blame for this? The power company will direct it at the government, the government will direct it and drop it at the doorstep of minister of airport, the minister of airport will direct it at who ever is beside him when he gets the query and the circle goes on and on. Everyone takes the blame, but no one professes the situation,
Sometimes, I think aloud according to the bible God said “let there be light and there was light and God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness (Gen 1: 3-4)
If God had decided that when he created the heavens and the earth that every continent will generate their own light, trust me when I say other African countries will unanimously decide to make Nigeria a continent. For what relationship has light with the dark
LONG LIVE THE FEDERAL CONTINENT OF NIGERIA.
What could be the problem? Inability to pay the bills, which at this point is highly improbable? Or the usual excuse of either there was too much water in the dam, or the dam suddenly ran dry!!! Or yes, “blown transformer due to over loading”
Whatever the case, I feel so sorry for people with more than 3 luggages and I especially feel sorry for those guys who will manually carry the luggage. Forget the extra cash they get today, the pain will be directly proportional to the money but unfortunately, they cannot call in sick tomorrow!!
On the other hand, let’s thank God because the situation could have been worse like this
Pilot to air traffic control :
Pilot : This is cap hosama-obama flight vs222 to traffic control
Control room (c.r): This is controller awe
Pilot : Requesting permission to land
C. R : State your precise location
pilot: I am 10knots of the equator; ETA should be about approximately 5 mins, request permission to land on tarmac cows-were-seen-grazing
C.r : Permission for land---------- (nepa strikes) beep…static and suddenly an automated voice comes up saying
sorry for the break in transmission it was due to failure in --------------------
17 hours after contact with the control room
Erm, I am sure we will be singing another tune by now if that was the case.
If that can happen in an airport, I wonder what it would be like if a major operation is carried out on a “major person” and gbam major nepa strikes, and the dockitas, and d anaesthetist and d scrubs and the nurses all bring out their mobile phones?
Oh I almost forgot mobile phones are to be switched off at all TIMES. Kai, o ma se oh for the major man on that major surgery table
And you guys don’t see any future in this country?
Please light a candle and sing
I am the future of the world
I am the hope of my nation
I am 2mrw future
I am the new inspiration
And we’ve got a song to sing to you
We’ve got a message to share with you
Do i have to come up with the solution…??
Ximena dey go sleep
Sunday, 9 May 2010
Friday, 7 May 2010
JASPER AND THE UN-NURTURED FLOWER 2
Elder 1 madueke
Elder 2 maurice
Okonkwo, jasper, chidera
Okonkwo’s uncle cosmos was too speechless and this was born out of the fact that he couldn’t believe it that they wanted to marry his grand-niece at any early age and to a man old enough to be her father.
He looked at Okonkwo and then turned to his guests and said “you want your gifts back? why if I may ask? In fact why do you, jasper with the little education catechist Cornelius gave you, you want to marry a very young girl”?
. “You see “muttered Maurice,” it is said that once a man sees a beautiful thing, he should quickly grab it, else someone else might take it from him that is what we are doing today. “
“Ehn, my own daughter “, interjected chidera,” bia, jasper why don’t you marry one of your daughter’s ovularia to a friend of yours and instead you have the guts to ask for your gifts back “?
.
Okonkwo silently sits contemplating whether to join the discussion or sample his machete on the useless old goon madueke blabbing away.
“Tradition only demands that if you reject our proposal that you return our gifts” replied okechukwu the third elder
Ehn, ehn, fine if your tradition demands so, I hope that same tradition also demands that you return the foods, drinks and the warm reception we accorded you? asked cosmos
“Tradition my foot”, muttered Okonkwo,#2 you men are unbelievable, jasper with your exposure of visiting the city once in a while you haven’t learned a thing or two? You hide your evil guise under tradition. What useless custom and tradition will allow you marry off your teenage daughter at an early age?”
“Our fore-fathers did and we have to continue the tradition.” Replied madueke
“Indeed, they did they formed a tradition to suit their selfish gain and you all blindly follow foolishly, you ignoramuses “responded cosmos.
“We only came to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage, we have not come to be insulted. “
“Oh, you will be insulted and much more oh because you came into my house to insult me. Look jasper, if you are bent on destroying someone else’s life, try and marry the grand daughter of one of your foolish uncles here. Who knows your useless tradition might permit it. You will not destroy my daughter’s life. Please vacate my premises otherwise I might do something I might regret. “
“If you do not return our gifts we will assume you have accepted our proposal for the hand of your daughter.”
Cosmos at this point was irritated and excused himself while chidera looked at her guest in disdain and started laughing
“Woman, why are you laughing? What is funny “asked madueke?
“I am not laughing at what is happening but at what is going to happen if you all don’t carry your two left legs and vanish from my compound. You see as uncle went inside , ehn he is not going to bring your gifts I am very sure he has gone in to load the oka he usually uses to chase away thieves. You can still sit down there or speak to your legs and find your square root. “
.Just then cosmos barges out of the room
“Where are the idiots that want to destroy the life of my grand niece?”
On seeing the rage as displayed by cosmos, the guest hurriedly left the premises of Okonkwo
“Wait nau. Are you leaving already? How about your gifts?”
“Don’t worry, you can keep it “replied maduka
“Ehn, jasper, jasiper, jasiper look at the disgrace you have brought upon us. Did you not know that there is a curse upon Okonkwo and his family?”
Of all the beautiful girls in the village why his daughter? Have you not seen how developed and ripe mazi okezie’s last daughter is old enough after all she is 14
“Shall we try it out?” asked jasper
“ mmmh I don t think today , I have had one insult too many “
“but why are you so keep on marrying a young girl after all you have three wives at home” quizzed madueke.
“Hmm, uncle I need a young woman to make me feel young and like a man again. “Speak of the devil, is that not okezie at mama carol’s beer parlour? “I think we should go and lightly joke with him and observe his reaction “?
to be continued
Elder 2 maurice
Okonkwo, jasper, chidera
Okonkwo’s uncle cosmos was too speechless and this was born out of the fact that he couldn’t believe it that they wanted to marry his grand-niece at any early age and to a man old enough to be her father.
He looked at Okonkwo and then turned to his guests and said “you want your gifts back? why if I may ask? In fact why do you, jasper with the little education catechist Cornelius gave you, you want to marry a very young girl”?
. “You see “muttered Maurice,” it is said that once a man sees a beautiful thing, he should quickly grab it, else someone else might take it from him that is what we are doing today. “
“Ehn, my own daughter “, interjected chidera,” bia, jasper why don’t you marry one of your daughter’s ovularia to a friend of yours and instead you have the guts to ask for your gifts back “?
.
Okonkwo silently sits contemplating whether to join the discussion or sample his machete on the useless old goon madueke blabbing away.
“Tradition only demands that if you reject our proposal that you return our gifts” replied okechukwu the third elder
Ehn, ehn, fine if your tradition demands so, I hope that same tradition also demands that you return the foods, drinks and the warm reception we accorded you? asked cosmos
“Tradition my foot”, muttered Okonkwo,#2 you men are unbelievable, jasper with your exposure of visiting the city once in a while you haven’t learned a thing or two? You hide your evil guise under tradition. What useless custom and tradition will allow you marry off your teenage daughter at an early age?”
“Our fore-fathers did and we have to continue the tradition.” Replied madueke
“Indeed, they did they formed a tradition to suit their selfish gain and you all blindly follow foolishly, you ignoramuses “responded cosmos.
“We only came to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage, we have not come to be insulted. “
“Oh, you will be insulted and much more oh because you came into my house to insult me. Look jasper, if you are bent on destroying someone else’s life, try and marry the grand daughter of one of your foolish uncles here. Who knows your useless tradition might permit it. You will not destroy my daughter’s life. Please vacate my premises otherwise I might do something I might regret. “
“If you do not return our gifts we will assume you have accepted our proposal for the hand of your daughter.”
Cosmos at this point was irritated and excused himself while chidera looked at her guest in disdain and started laughing
“Woman, why are you laughing? What is funny “asked madueke?
“I am not laughing at what is happening but at what is going to happen if you all don’t carry your two left legs and vanish from my compound. You see as uncle went inside , ehn he is not going to bring your gifts I am very sure he has gone in to load the oka he usually uses to chase away thieves. You can still sit down there or speak to your legs and find your square root. “
.Just then cosmos barges out of the room
“Where are the idiots that want to destroy the life of my grand niece?”
On seeing the rage as displayed by cosmos, the guest hurriedly left the premises of Okonkwo
“Wait nau. Are you leaving already? How about your gifts?”
“Don’t worry, you can keep it “replied maduka
“Ehn, jasper, jasiper, jasiper look at the disgrace you have brought upon us. Did you not know that there is a curse upon Okonkwo and his family?”
Of all the beautiful girls in the village why his daughter? Have you not seen how developed and ripe mazi okezie’s last daughter is old enough after all she is 14
“Shall we try it out?” asked jasper
“ mmmh I don t think today , I have had one insult too many “
“but why are you so keep on marrying a young girl after all you have three wives at home” quizzed madueke.
“Hmm, uncle I need a young woman to make me feel young and like a man again. “Speak of the devil, is that not okezie at mama carol’s beer parlour? “I think we should go and lightly joke with him and observe his reaction “?
to be continued
Sunday, 2 May 2010
JASPER AND THE UN-NURTURED FLOWER
The story so far….. well not so far
Not like there ever was one ..
Ok this is the 2nd part of specimen Y how it all began ……
Some where on earth..
Before some inhabitants of the world lost touch with reality :
Enjoy
********************************************************************
Elder 1: “we saw a beautiful flower we would like to pluck from your compound”
Okonkwo: “hmmm, beautiful flower you say?”
Elder 1: “Oh yes, we can see that the flower is well nurtured and watered and properly bred, 2 market days from now we shall be a paying an official visit to make known our intentions”
2market days later
Okonkwo: “welcome our guests, I hope you had a nice journey “
Elder 1 “ ah , yes lets get down to business and explain our intentions , like my kinsman said we saw a flower in your compound we would like to pluck “
Okonkwo: “gentle men you are speaking in parables.
I do not have flowers in my compound except shrubs, a pawpaw and orange tree in my back garden. Erm, if you may can you be more direct and factual “
Elder 3: “it is said that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour …. “
Okonkwo’s uncle: "very true, indeed, very true...”
Elder 2: “we would like to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage”
Okonkwo: “hmm, my daughter you say. Please excuse me a moment while I converse with my family “
They adjourn to the bedroom to discuss
Okonkwo: “did you hear that?
They have come to ask for the hand of our daughter in marriage and tradition says the first daughter should be married off before her younger ones. “
chidera is busy singing and dancing
Chidera: God am good he has done me well, oh my soul rise up and praise the Lord
“Eh finally they have come and ask for the hand of adaku in marriage? Thank you Lord I was beginning to think she would grow grey hair in this house. Your name be praised oh Jehovah. Chineke dalu nne ri oh (thank you so much Lord) “
Okonkwo: “any way, now that they have officially asked and they know what our custom demands, let us entertain our guests. biko, tell olachi to pound that a fufu very well and that bush meat kenneth ( pronounced Kennetheh ) brought last night , abeg let her include it in the bitter leaf soup . “
Okonkwo’s uncle: “now we have heard you, and have also received your gifts as tradition demands.
Okonkwo’s uncle so you want to marry adaku our daughter. That is good news oh “
Elder 1: Erm no, actually it’s your other daughter “
Okonkwo: Chioma?
Elder 1: “No the other one “
Okonkwo: “Ahh, hmmm you mean oluchi?”
He laughs out loud the idiotic elder
Elder 1” Not that one either”.
Okonkwo: “ahn, ahn that would be nneka? “
they all shake their heads in unison,
Elder 3 “Not that one either “
Okonkwo and his family looks at one another
Okonkwo’s uncle: “are you sure you have the right address? For I fear you are in the wrong house”
Elder 2: looks at the middle aged man who hasn’t said a word since the inception of the conversation.
Elder 2: “jasper, is this not the house? “
Jasper: “yes, uncle it is this house.”
Chidera: “well, my last daughter Ugochi is only twelve and she is preparing for her JSSC Exams. Surely you can’t …… “
Interrupts elder one
Elder 1: “Exactly she is the flower we seek “.
Okonkwo’s uncle: “You mean you want us to nurture her for you and when the time is right you will come and marry her?”
“Erm no, we wish to marry her now “replied the third elder
Okonkwo: Now!!! She is still young and besides I am sure your son (he looks at jasper) is too young to be married?”
Elder 2: “Actually, Jasper here is the one who wants to marry Ugochi “!
Okonkwo: “Marry gini my Ugochi spills his schnapps on the floor “tufiakwa, may the gods forbid. She is the youngest of my daughters, “
Elder 1: Oh, no we would like that young girl; you see we like to catch them young especially now that she is untainted. He married wife no 1 was she was 16, wife no 2 at 15 wife no 3 at 13 at u see if Ugochi marries him, she will be wife no 4 and his youngest wife ever. ”
Okonkwo: “my own 12 year old daughter, you wan catch young ngwanu,
“I will FAROUK you before you YERIMA my daughter “
Elder 2: “You mean you are rejecting our proposal? “
Okonkwo:” I am not only rejecting your proposal, I will also experiment on you the cutlass I just bought from the market last week. See you people should vanish before I open my eyes and castrate one of you …. Infact I will report this abomination to the elders council “
elder 1 : "What about the gifts we brought?? "
To be continued
Not like there ever was one ..
Ok this is the 2nd part of specimen Y how it all began ……
Some where on earth..
Before some inhabitants of the world lost touch with reality :
Enjoy
********************************************************************
Elder 1: “we saw a beautiful flower we would like to pluck from your compound”
Okonkwo: “hmmm, beautiful flower you say?”
Elder 1: “Oh yes, we can see that the flower is well nurtured and watered and properly bred, 2 market days from now we shall be a paying an official visit to make known our intentions”
2market days later
Okonkwo: “welcome our guests, I hope you had a nice journey “
Elder 1 “ ah , yes lets get down to business and explain our intentions , like my kinsman said we saw a flower in your compound we would like to pluck “
Okonkwo: “gentle men you are speaking in parables.
I do not have flowers in my compound except shrubs, a pawpaw and orange tree in my back garden. Erm, if you may can you be more direct and factual “
Elder 3: “it is said that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour …. “
Okonkwo’s uncle: "very true, indeed, very true...”
Elder 2: “we would like to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage”
Okonkwo: “hmm, my daughter you say. Please excuse me a moment while I converse with my family “
They adjourn to the bedroom to discuss
Okonkwo: “did you hear that?
They have come to ask for the hand of our daughter in marriage and tradition says the first daughter should be married off before her younger ones. “
chidera is busy singing and dancing
Chidera: God am good he has done me well, oh my soul rise up and praise the Lord
“Eh finally they have come and ask for the hand of adaku in marriage? Thank you Lord I was beginning to think she would grow grey hair in this house. Your name be praised oh Jehovah. Chineke dalu nne ri oh (thank you so much Lord) “
Okonkwo: “any way, now that they have officially asked and they know what our custom demands, let us entertain our guests. biko, tell olachi to pound that a fufu very well and that bush meat kenneth ( pronounced Kennetheh ) brought last night , abeg let her include it in the bitter leaf soup . “
Okonkwo’s uncle: “now we have heard you, and have also received your gifts as tradition demands.
Okonkwo’s uncle so you want to marry adaku our daughter. That is good news oh “
Elder 1: Erm no, actually it’s your other daughter “
Okonkwo: Chioma?
Elder 1: “No the other one “
Okonkwo: “Ahh, hmmm you mean oluchi?”
He laughs out loud the idiotic elder
Elder 1” Not that one either”.
Okonkwo: “ahn, ahn that would be nneka? “
they all shake their heads in unison,
Elder 3 “Not that one either “
Okonkwo and his family looks at one another
Okonkwo’s uncle: “are you sure you have the right address? For I fear you are in the wrong house”
Elder 2: looks at the middle aged man who hasn’t said a word since the inception of the conversation.
Elder 2: “jasper, is this not the house? “
Jasper: “yes, uncle it is this house.”
Chidera: “well, my last daughter Ugochi is only twelve and she is preparing for her JSSC Exams. Surely you can’t …… “
Interrupts elder one
Elder 1: “Exactly she is the flower we seek “.
Okonkwo’s uncle: “You mean you want us to nurture her for you and when the time is right you will come and marry her?”
“Erm no, we wish to marry her now “replied the third elder
Okonkwo: Now!!! She is still young and besides I am sure your son (he looks at jasper) is too young to be married?”
Elder 2: “Actually, Jasper here is the one who wants to marry Ugochi “!
Okonkwo: “Marry gini my Ugochi spills his schnapps on the floor “tufiakwa, may the gods forbid. She is the youngest of my daughters, “
Elder 1: Oh, no we would like that young girl; you see we like to catch them young especially now that she is untainted. He married wife no 1 was she was 16, wife no 2 at 15 wife no 3 at 13 at u see if Ugochi marries him, she will be wife no 4 and his youngest wife ever. ”
Okonkwo: “my own 12 year old daughter, you wan catch young ngwanu,
“I will FAROUK you before you YERIMA my daughter “
Elder 2: “You mean you are rejecting our proposal? “
Okonkwo:” I am not only rejecting your proposal, I will also experiment on you the cutlass I just bought from the market last week. See you people should vanish before I open my eyes and castrate one of you …. Infact I will report this abomination to the elders council “
elder 1 : "What about the gifts we brought?? "
To be continued
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