49 or 4 1 9

Nigeria is 49..im not impressed and im not celebrating , there’s nothing to celebrate.
Why should I celebrate
Asuu is on strike , the future of the Nigerian child is uncertain.
Education shouldn’t be for the select few and the privilege ones, it should be for everyone.
So what happens to those who cant afford private universities or send their children abroad to study?

And the mentality of companies asking for a degree before they employee you.. tell them I said they should visit developed countries. Experience matters not education. Wake up.

49 years after and most homes are running on generators (let there be light) , candles, lanterns, shakabula and atupa elepo. At what age?
Stress related death due to stress .
the rate at which d brakes of heavy duty vehicles fail on our roads killing innocent citizens and no one is doing anything about it.
The country is rich and blessed and yet the people suffer ,
Suffering in the midst of plenty .. suffering and smiling

Fuel is in abundance and we still queue at the fuel station,
Homeless people here and there and there is abundance of land
Child hawkers who should be in school but are selling on the streets
And Nigeria is 49? Really


At 49 and the essential basics are a far reach from the common man.

And we smile thru it (bless)
Fela was right suffering and smiling …..


Time to wake up, stop crawling and take the giant step.
At 49 .. grow up jare
Time to take responsiblities
Forget lost glory ….
For it is written ,
The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the lord of hosts. And in this place will I give peace.(haggai 2:9)

Don’t dwell on the past, that’s our problem.
Its time to move on and return back to God
If my people who are called by my name , shall humble themselves and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways , then will I hear from heaven and forgive their sins and will heal their land (2 chronicles 7: 14)

Dear God,
If our leaders have erred and have turned away from you, forgive their foolish deeds and have mercy on your land. Remember not our iniquities and bless us. Amen ..

Me l like my country ,I love d land and people efrytin e dey for Nigeria make we join hands to make Nigeria better..

speed kills , remember your loved ones

Well, where do I begin this? Seriously people lets talk. The rate at which people are killed in road accidents in 9ja is alarming especially if its an accident that can be avoided. Some people if it doesn’t affect them directly, they don’t care. But one day na bushmeat go catch hunter.
I am sick of hearing someone got killed by a hit and run car. Or a trailer driver rammed into an okada and killed both passenger and rider. Shouldn’t it be a shame on the transport authorities if accidents like these keep on occurring on a daily basis to the shame of some people. If they can enforce some strict rules and adhere to this rules, chances are road accidents will reduce by at least 60%.
Tankers exploding on the highways and engulfing cars and lives can be avoildable , or is it trailers overturning and landing on cars. Shall I go on. And all the heavy duty vehicles always intimidate other road drivers with the way they drive. Who wants to be an experiment to the lunatics on the road? I remember a car sticker when I was younger it said “speed kills, remember your loved ones”. I strongly suggest every household should have one or better still they should dash out two each to every tanker and trailer drivers.
On a personal level, I always thought and still maintain that heavy duty freight vehicles should travel during the day and shouldn’t be on the same lane as normal vehicles. You all know the reasons. Asides the fact that I cant stand them one minute, it would be safer for us at the end of the day. Has any body seen the way they drive? My goodness, you will think they own the roads.
They drive like they are being pursued by the devil and the world is coming to an end. The lives that has been lost by the recklessness and lackadaisical attitudes on the part of the tanker/ trailer drivers is something to worry about.
Recently, a very young promising man who had just picked off his wife lost his life due to the recklessness on the part of the driver. I don’t get why on God’s green earth this lots tend to over take? And besides, if you want to over take shouldn’t you be on the left lane? Na wa oh.
How did they get their license? Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked….
How many lives will they take, reckless driving doesn’t speak well of a nations transport authority. Accidents are mishaps that can be avoided.

Over speeding isn’t cool. If the manufacturers of cars wanted you to over speed, there wouldn’t be BRAKES...

Heavy duty vehicles should be made to travel at night but never at rush hours. The drivers should be orientated and given proper training on how to drive on the roads. If at any time the driver breaks a highway code, the company involved should be fined heavily.
They should regularly service their vehicles and check the brakes, since that’s the problem they all have. They all assume they have a brake that is functioning properly and yet the pump it half an hour before they stop. What manner of madness Is this?
They should enforce high way codes and speed limits. They should be made to travel 60m/s or less and the places of no speed limit they can do what they want. However, if they want to kill themselves by all means do so, provided they die alone.
Everyone wants to leave home for work to return back HOME. Not land in some hospital or even the morgue.
But well since it hasn’t affected the officials of the authorities on a personal level, they probably don’t care. But one day o, bush meat go catch hunter and I do hope by then it won’t be too late.
I am hoping the ministry of transport will one day enforce these laws and save families from mourning unnecessarily. It is enough, stop making families mourn.

Over speeding kills
Remember your loved ones
Better be late than be the late!!!!!

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy baybay …
Still crasee after all these years

ONE LOVE

ONE LOVE…..
The only thing that unites nigerians is football. And even at that they still fight during the match, especially if rival clubs are playing. When we realise how blessed we are, I am sure all this fightings will stop. I cant start counting all the ethnic wars in Nigeria , and I am sure they have a very good cause for it. of course they must. After all no one wants to be exploited and used and dumped like a piece of toilet paper. But there should be a way to resolve our differences. The day we stop seeing ourselves as ibo , Yoruba, hausa, Ibibio , kalabari, funtua, Fulani, kanuri, igbira, and some other 250 ethnic tribe, then that day we are on our way to being a GREATER NIGERIA. Who is paying me to talk? My conscience.

We are one. Why must there be a problem when a Yoruba girl wants to marry some one from outside her tribe. You hear her parents cussing and screaming over their dead bodies . jeeezzz. And then it becomes political in the name of power sharing. I love Nigeria , no lie . but sometimes, I just cant wait to start my own country.
So now, the issue tearing 9ja apart is the issue of abolishing western education in Nigeria because it has no place islam and for that reason my dear friends they have decided to kill, maim and destroy. What happened to onyeka onwenu’s one love keeping us together?
How long will this go on , I keep on asking myself. The tribal wars, religious unrest all in the name of stating a fact. And yeah, you stated the fact all right.
God has a purpose for making you who you are. Your tribe, creed isn’t a mistake, God knew perfectly well what he was doing when he made you who you are. I just hate it when we all recite the national anthem together especially the line
“one nation bound in freedom, PEACE & UNITY”.
What happened to the PEACE ?
THE UNITY?

When are we going to wake up and realise that the world is moving on and thinking about advancing in technology. When are we going to realise that conflict isn’t the answer to our problems, but a catalyst to the problem.

When are we going to realise that God put us there together for a purpose, and a purpose only. Love your neighbour as yourself. So invariably, if you go on killing , maiming one another, it goes to show that you do not actually love your self.
There are many ways to air your grievances and making sense. Killing one another can never be the solution. And may I remind you that you have no reason to take someone else’s life , especially since you didn’t create it.

When you become over whelmed with rage and kill people from a different belief as you and you realise you are fighting a lost cause. When you kill the neighbour who gave you a ride to work because your car wont start and you had an important meeting.
When you kill the very neighbour whom you borrowed salt from, and asked to baby sit your kids because you had to pick your wife from the office. The same neighbour that defended you when the world was against you. The same neighbour you rang in the middle of the night because your wife went into labour and you were too nervous to drive.

When you kill the same neighbour who has been a brother to you, and a confidant and then you realise it was an unrealistic, senseless,, stupid totally ridiculous killings that cant be done. And you wish you could take back the hands of time,……
Dear God I hope it isn’t too late …….

THE VOICE

The voice that whispers

Listen can you hear the voice
The seas roar and rage, but that gentle voice persists
All you have to do is listen ..

The voice that whispers peace in times of turmoil
The voice that commands the storm
The voice that says “peace be still “

The voice that whispers when the willows blow
The voice that encourages when you are discouraged
The voice that whispers gently soothing words of comfort

The voice that whispers over the Caspian seas

If only you will listen
Just listen a little bit more
You can hear the voice
The same voice that breathe o’er Eden
The same voice that says this is my beloved son
The voice that says “IT IS I, DO NOT BE AFRAID”

A letter to my killers

A letter to my killers
Ah , you
You walked with me in the meadows
Tried and tried to be faster than my shadow
We laughed and talked together
And then I turned back and you pulled the trigger.
Time stood still.


You cut short my life,
An exemplary life cut short by you,
Alas I am going home, home sweet home
I am laid to rest
But you my killer
Shall KNOW NO REST,

Now behold people gathered at my graveside,
Not to mourn but celebrate,
But you , my killer, abounds, abides with my mourners,
I look at you and laugh..
Ha ha ha ha

Enjoy now for I shall come for you,
Sooner than you least expect,
Very soon , you shall lay beside me,
Alone, six feet under,

Few eulogies read at your funeral,
Abandoned soon after
Ha ha ha , my killer weep no more,
For I shall have my revenge

SWEET REVENGE
This piece is dedicated to those who have lost their lives Unnaturally.

POVERTY

I got this off the internet and thought i'd share.

1.6 billion people — a quarter of humanity — live without electricity:

Breaking that down further:
Number of people living without electricity
Region

Millions without electricity
South Asia 706
Sub-Saharan Africa 547
East Asia 224
Other 101

* The GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of the 41 Heavily Indebted Poor Countries (567 million people) is less than the wealth of the world’s 7 richest people combined.Source 18

* World gross domestic product (world population approximately 6.5 billion) in 2006 was $48.2 trillion in 2006.

* The world’s wealthiest countries (approximately 1 billion people) accounted for $36.6 trillion dollars (76%).
* The world’s billionaires — just 497 people (approximately 0.000008% of the world’s population) — were worth $3.5 trillion (over 7% of world GDP).
* Low income countries (2.4 billion people) accounted for just $1.6 trillion of GDP (3.3%)
* Middle income countries (3 billion people) made up the rest of GDP at just over $10 trillion (20.7%).Source 19

* The world’s low income countries (2.4 billion people) account for just 2.4% of world exports Source 20

The total wealth of the top 8.3 million people around the world “rose 8.2 percent to $30.8 trillion in 2004, giving them control of nearly a quarter of the world’s financial assets.”

In other words, about 0.13% of the world’s population controlled 25% of the world’s financial assets in 2004.Source 21

For every $1 in aid a developing country receives, over $25 is spent on debt repayment.Source 22

51 percent of the world’s 100 hundred wealthiest bodies are corporations.Source 23

The wealthiest nation on Earth has the widest gap between rich and poor of any industrialized nation.Source 24

The poorer the country, the more likely it is that debt repayments are being extracted directly from people who neither contracted the loans nor received any of the money.Source 25

In 1960, the 20% of the world’s people in the richest countries had 30 times the income of the poorest 20% — in 1997, 74 times as much.Source 26

An analysis of long-term trends shows the distance between the richest and poorest countries was about:

* 3 to 1 in 1820
* 11 to 1 in 1913
* 35 to 1 in 1950
* 44 to 1 in 1973
* 72 to 1 in 1992
Source 27

“Approximately 790 million people in the developing world are still chronically undernourished, almost two-thirds of whom reside in Asia and the Pacific.”Source 28

For economic growth and almost all of the other indicators, the last 20 years [of the current form of globalization, from 1980 - 2000] have shown a very clear decline in progress as compared with the previous two decades [1960 - 1980]. For each indicator, countries were divided into five roughly equal groups, according to what level the countries had achieved by the start of the period (1960 or 1980). Among the findings:

* Growth: The fall in economic growth rates was most pronounced and across the board for all groups or countries.
* Life Expectancy: Progress in life expectancy was also reduced for 4 out of the 5 groups of countries, with the exception of the highest group (life expectancy 69-76 years).
* Infant and Child Mortality: Progress in reducing infant mortality was also considerably slower during the period of globalization (1980-1998) than over the previous two decades.
* Education and literacy: Progress in education also slowed during the period of globalization. Source 29

A mere 12 percent of the world’s population uses 85 percent of its water, and these 12 percent do not live in the Third World.Source 30

THE TRUTH ABOUT CERVICAL CANCER

WHAT IS CERVICAL CANCER?

Cancer is a disease that happens when body cells don't work right. The cells divide really fast and grow out of control. These extra cells form a tumor. Cervical cancer is cancer in the cervix, the lower, narrow part of the uterus (womb). The uterus is the hollow, pear-shaped organ where a baby grows during a woman's pregnancy. The cervix forms a canal that opens into the vagina (birth canal), which leads to the outside of the body.

Most cases of cervical cancer are caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV). HPV is a virus that is passed from person to person through genital contact, most often during vaginal and anal sex. You are more likely to get HPV if you have multiple partners. However, any woman who has ever had genital contact with another person can get HPV. Most women infected with HPV will not get cervical cancer. But, you are more likely to develop cervical cancer if you smoke, have HIV or reduced immunity, or don’t get regular Pap tests. Pap tests look for changes in the cervical cells that could become cancerous if not treated.

If the Pap test finds serious changes in the cells of the cervix, the doctor will suggest more powerful tests such as a colposcopy (kol-POSS-koh-pee). This procedure uses a large microscope called a colposcope (KOL-poh-skohp). This tool allows the doctor to look more closely at the cells of the vagina and cervix. This and other tests can help the doctor decide what areas should be tested for cancer




WHY SHOULD I BE CONCERNED ABOUT CERVICAL CANCER?

Cervical cancer is a disease that can be very serious. However, it is a disease that you can help prevent. Cervical cancer happens when normal cells in the cervix change into cancer cells. This normally takes several years to happen, but it can also happen in a very short period of time.

HOW CAN I PREVENT CANCER?

Scientists have developed a vaccine that helps prevent certain types of HPV. The vaccine helps protect against the types of HPV that most often cause cancer. Right now, the HPV vaccine (called Gardasil®) is only given to females ages 9 to 26. The vaccine is given in three doses (shots) over a six-month period. Women who are pregnant should not get the HPV vaccine until after the baby is born.

The HPV vaccine works best in females who haven’t been exposed to the virus. It protects against four types of HPV. Studies show the vaccine prevents about 70 percent of cervical cancers if it is given to women and girls before they have sex for the first time. It also protects against about 90 percent of genital warts. The shot works for at least five years, maybe longer. It is still under study.

who steal my bleaching?

Madam enhanced beauty

FREE PERMANENT BLEACHING TIPS..


Well , well , well. Fela sang
‘who steal my bleaching? ‘

‘Danger ‘
‘My precious bleaching’
‘Danger’
‘I buy am for market for #40.00’
‘I go die o ‘
‘I go quench.’

I’ve been cracking my brain days on end as to why people enhance their natural and God given body. Dark skinned, light skinned or “chocolate skinned”, God knew why he made you that. And those vital statics that gives the body of a sezzzzy goddess. Hmm and u want to enhance it.

Ok , you are dark skinned, no flaws, no blemishes, fine gurl all dimples no pimples and you to want to enhance (that sounds too posh, sorry) or bleach your skin. Apparently there are so many bleahing agents in the market and I don’t know any one so I cant help you here. And have you considered how expensive it is when you start to bleach thy burriful skin. Well, maybe you have the money. You can do better by donating the money to charity. So in the spirit of charity and also writing these in the same vein, I have decided to give you some tips free of charge and I hope after reading this, you will donate a substantial amount to my charity .
These are not temporary but permanent ways of enhancing your beauty and you don’t need to go under the knife ever again .
Sides effect have not be noticed and would likely be minimal if noticed. The only side effects my clients have complained of is “extreme happiness”

This should cost u less than £5 or 1K

Ingredients
Relaxer
Battery water
vim
Sand paper
water

Directions
First mix the vim and water to make a paste, then apply to your body. Rub in circular motion (that makes blood flow evenly) and use the sandpaper to exfoliate. These removes the dead and dry skin .
Then rinse off the paste.

Next , apply the relaxer all over your body and leave on for 20mins, (the have that special glowing tanish effect lie under the sun for 20 mins)
Rinse with 15 litres of battery water and towel dry.
Apply any moisturizer

Look in the mirror and see the NEW YOU,
I am sure you will one day thank you.

light up nigeria 2

PROBLEM HAS CHANGED NAME. AGAIN.. these people should pay me o..
Every one in 9ja now runs on generator and I never make it a point of duty to ask if there is light, but i foolishly ASKED my mum and she asked me in no uncertain terms “WHAT IS THAT ?
And oh yeah, did you guys know nepa offices now have generators?

I remember learning that the life expectancy of Nigerians is now in the range of 40s. why is that so? So our fore fathers lived up to a century or very close to one. The rate at which young , amiable and promising individuals are passing away is alarming and shocking and all of these deaths are stress related, which I know can very much be avoided.

Take for instance, a young fellow who wakes up at 4am or 4.30am in the morning, out of his house at 6am and in work at half past seven depending on the traffic. He or she has a massive work load on his desk, deadlines to meet, meetings to attend. Has a quarter of an hour break, and sometimes misses it. Closes work at 6 or 7 but decides to wait behind at work to avoid the traffic on the road. If he has a car , im sure he is lucky. Otherwise, he has to jump buses and risk the fear of’ one chance’. He expects to come home to a serene and peaceful athmosphere when he comes home at half past ten or eleven o’clock . instead phcn gives him the DEFAULT WELCOME and he oh well, he’s probably too tired to turn his gen on (especially if its d one you pull ) and decides to have a shower, have a quick grub and go to bed, afterall, he has a long day again tomorrow. Just as he is changing into gear 4, when suddenly from no where a long , resounding, annoying, depressing noise springs up , his heart skips a beat. Was that an earthquake? No its his neighbours generator on at 2.30am in the morning because their 3day old baby already has a rash.

He tosses and turns and curses and swears while sweating and the mosquitoes are keeping him company. Before he knows it. Its 4 a.m and his alarm has gone off.

The dude repeats the same process day he day out, till he succumbs and suddenly collapses and dies. Post Mortem says stress related , I say phcn stress related.

Lets face the truth, this happens and will continue to happen until something is done.

light up nigeria

Light up Nigeria
Ok, I never ever ever thought I will write something or anything about nepa or phch, but here I am…

Nepa – never expect power again
Nep plc --- no electric power please light candle..
Phcn problem has changed name.

This organization over the years keeps on changing their names and also living up to expectation. I really don’t see the point that they should still be an issue, and for this reason they should be ashamed of themselves.

They have all the excuses you can think of:
In rainy seasons—too much water in the dam
In dry season---insufficient water ..
For real
Oh and that mysterious transformer gist..

This issue of no light is an embarrassment to the management of the organization, the minister of power of steel, energy or whatever portfolio he falls under.
So this issue where did it all go wrong. My mum said the problem with nepa started when the word AUTHORITY came it. Back in the days of ECN- electric Corporation of Nigeria, there was constant power supply and if by chance there would be any power outage they will announce it and tell you when there will be no electricity.

I have come to realise that this might just be political and also the power outage in Nigeria has also helped in boosting some countries economy and also a means of livelihood for some

It seems to me and I am sure I am not far from the truth that the importers of generators bride this buffoon-long mouthed-oni jekuje- ojukokoro officials to cut short the electricity supply making people resort to having at least 2 generators in their homes. It is sickening to say the least.
And to think generators are specifically built for Nigerians.
I have told mumsy to call nepa and tell them to come and remove their metre from her house.


And now every home in Nigeria has a generator , a let there by light in the least.
If only they would think about the health implications it has on people.
CANCER FOR ONE..
These days neighbours all tend to switch on their gens at the same time, this war of generators can most likely cause a hearing problem, inhaling the co can also cause cancer , high blood pressure and God knows what else,….
It is painfully annoying because we have invested so much money, time and resources in this sector and yet no head way…

It is especially annoying because most people engage in cook and go , i.e cooking every other day. If they cooked and shopped in bulk it would put extra cash on their tables and also help the eco-system. Lord knows how many times we have had to throw food away cos of this morons….

I am sick and tired of hearing we are running on generators or no light to charge my phone…
And oh laptop batteries,

And who remembers my “little conversation with nepa ??, im sure they will never forget me”

And it wont be a bad idea to sue this idiots for the loss of meat, fish, egusi, ewedu, pumping machine, laptop and also deliberate intention to harm our bodies heathwise..

If these idiots can sit down and get their acts together or just retire from inactive service and give room for other people who have better plans , I can say this EXPECT MOST OF US BACK HOME ON THE NEXT PLANE.



Little wonder a child’s first words are nor DADA OR MAMA but UP NEPA….…….

LIGHT UP NIGERIA
LIGHT UP NIGERIA
LIGHT UP NIGERIA
E DON DO ABEG!!

potentials ,what lies within you

There is always something so unique about everybody, I know because I am unique and I dared to be different and stand out from the crowd. I refuse to follow the trend but instead I chose to start a trend because I am a pace-setter because I discovered WHAT LIES WITHIN ME (so many of them).

God in his abundance has endowed us with gifts that we are yet to discover.
We often look at others and marvel, ‘oh, he is this, she is that and you are not’. But do u realise that God has deposited exactly the same thing in them as he has in you. Or maybe he has even deposited more in you.

That which lies within you when discovered brings out the genius in you and makes you stand out


I’m sure you must be wondering what or if you have something within you.
Of course every human born of a woman or whatever specie has something in them. No one was born empty, but we all remain empty because we refuse to discover what lies within us. The only way we can discover our potentials is by sitting down and having a thorough analysis about ourselves.


After that write down what you think might be your potentials; these can range from singing, dancing, praying, writing, events co-coordinator or even artistic skills.


Until we discover our hidden and God given potentials (WHAT LIES WITHIN YOU) we can’t maximize our potentials. And by maximizing our potentials either by (in) directly helping someone we somewhat become a role model and also help others to discover themselves.

I know there is something there about you that you are yet to discover, something that makes you, YOU. Something unique and makes others want to be like you, something that draws people to you.
And remember, that little thing that you probably consider as nothing might be the best if not the greatest potential you have.

Why don’t u search yourself this minute, discover the real you today, and when you do I am sure people around you will be lucky to have a unique person like you.


Discover your hidden ability now



From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy babe
Still crazy after all these years

special agent Hosama-obama

Copyright @FXD08

how patriotic are you?

How patriotic are you
I often hear people say that they will lay their lives for their countries .. yeah right , you only hear that once and that’s when they are running for a political post..
would you guys lay down your lives? honest answers...

Examiner :So would you die for your country?
Me: ‘Me?’

E:‘Yes, you’!
M: ‘what country are we talking about here o ’?
E: ‘Your great country’

M: Wich one o, examiner?

E: ‘Your motherland’

M: ‘My mother has lands, which one?’
E:‘goodness, you know what I mean ’

M: ‘why should I die for my country, no why. To prove what nau?’

E: other’s gave their lives for this great country.
M: and so?

E: don’t u want to be in their shoes?
M: nope, we don’t wear the same size.

E: oh,
M: yup

E: erm, you are not being patriotic.
M: patro-gini?, patriotic na for book and classroom,.so dying for my country is an act of patriotism.?

E: I reckon ..
M: ehen,

E: so you wont lay down your life for your country?
M: when I am not mad..

E: that is sad?
M: will u lay down your life?

E: I will, I love my country
M: that is nice… when you die for your country ,your tombstone will read “herein lies a fellow who gave his life for this great country, he will be sadly missed, his legacies will live on ” they turn their backs there and a then, you are on your own, they forget u almost immediately


E: regardless, I will still lay my life.

M: well done o , you r interrupting my suya abeg. u get any thing to say ?

E: gosh, such an un patriotic citizen. If you cant lay your life for your country what can you do.?
M: i will help them bury you when u lay down your life (munchin my suya).

M: you get anoda question?
E: yes, what would you do if you are the president of your country?

M: now, u don dey talk sense..



To be continued
From the archives of a mischievous baybay
Still crazyafteralltheseyears-xim.blogspot.com

28th may 2009
3:00am

reasons y i never visit rich people

typical day in a richman who wants to show off's house

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: "tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"

Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please (getting irritated)

. Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black.

" Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar ")

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: " oh well Forget it."


03:36am
03-06-09
From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy chic
Still crazyafteralltheseyears

some crazy thought

IF U HAVE MORE ADD

difference between jahnd-yankee() and 9ja
y-jhd

janhd-yankee
1. a movie comes out, u cant wait to go to d movies to see it.... as in u are eager u set reminders on your phone/pda/bb.

9ja
look at the posters and the commercials , you'll catch the story.. whats d point it'll have a part 2 anyway.

9ja is hot and yankee-jahnd is cold

yankee-jahnd: candle lit dinners are considered ROMANTIC
9ja: candle lit dinner are compulsory and WOEMANTIC and courtsey PHCH(PROBLEM HAS CHANGED NAME)

YANKEE-JAHND: u can pause a movie, rewind it and do whatever on sky plus

9ja..u dare not stand up from the chair, nepa!!!

y-jnd:u hear places like camberwell, princess road, great western street, crystal palace,london bridge,essex
9ja- oworoshoki, odongunyan, shibiri, etegbin, agindingbin, ajagbandi

y-jnd: iron ur clothes when u want to go out
9ja- iron your clothes one month before

some1 collapses on the road
yankee-jahnd : you can hear people screaming "oh my God, someone call an ambulance, call 911".. the next thing u know, everyone is on their mobiles calling


9ja:they stare, mopp, gaze and look at u.and say "heya". until it occurs to someone to dial 911 and when they do , u either hear
1. "all trunks are busy , pls try later"
2.. "sorry you have insufficient credit to make this call".
3 "the number you have dialled is switched off, pls try again later"
4 or the usual "ko wo le"signal



y-jd airports ; arrival hall all terminals u find whsmith,boots, superdrugs and a place to sit and surf..#
9ja : any place where u see people rushing preferably on the road is d arrival hall



from the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crazy girl. still crazy after all these years
JUNE09

THE BEAUTY OF MY COLOR

The beauty of my colour,
From the Aegean islands to the lands of Egypt
My colour radiates

My colour Is unparallel, incomparable,
My colour complements
Oh do I love this colour,


My colour dark, sooty, inky,
Swarty, clean , cure, pristine.
From the borders of Ethiopia
to the rivers of Zambezi
My color radiates

The congos to the Cameroon
From the valleys of the Mesopotamia
to the plateau of Libya,
The cities of Morocco,
From the town of Syria
My color beams

Just like the beautiful jasmine flower
The Gems of the mountain
The pearls of the ocean
Myrrh from the forest
Like the gold from the mine
My colour illuminates


I am blessed to have the colour that complements……..
Black.blaque.blak…..
My colour Is beautiful
And so I’m I ….





The beauty of my color
God’s best work of art ,still…….

My color glows……..
Face it…. I’m BLACK AND PROUD!!!!!

CREDIT CRUNCH WIFE

Hmmm, I hear say to marry wife or do wedding for nija na serious business investment. And for that reason alone you need some bard a *** money. Just like when you want to buy a car always make sure you have money for two cars , so you can buy the car with one part of the money and also maintain the car with what .. wahahla
By the time one thinks of catering, decors both interior and exteriors.. transportation, bridal train and the splendour, brilliance and magnificence attached to a wedding, person go don die, wake up, die again ,wake up and then migrate to Mali, sudan or chad!!!

Remember o, they haven’t even thought of bride price o (why you would put a price tag on your dota is way way beyond me….. not that dude wont pay , he sure will)..


And that all in one list of palm oil. 42 tubers of yam , bag of salt etc… I used to think back in da days that the yam was actually meant to be prepared for the guests. I never knew mama A, aunty B , mama mama’s ZYX will share the yams..until recently…

And then they fight over bride price.. serious fight o.. matter of fact some family members will go and retrieve the receipts right from when bride’s mother conceived, to the amount of baby food bought, down to university and khaki days(youth service). That’s probably how much u have to pay


So now instead of the family deliberating o sorry fighting/haggling/waring over the bride price. Now I hear some brides can choose how much they want as bride price.. scwwwwweeeps!!!

Lucky Is the guy whose bride to be asks for #25,000,000 as in 25milla naira cool cash..
For this credit crunch period, dude had better engage the services of Experian or so and do a thorough credit check on that babe….and she if she QUALIFIES, good. Sit down with her family and arrange a payment plan; preferably in instalment ….and please pay by direct debit. If you can pay by credit card , you get a discount and also get points on your tesco and nectar club cards.

Make sure you have insurance on wife to be just incase she cant cook to your standard, not good at house keeping , suddenly has sagged skins and skin discolouration due to beauty enhancement (bleaching) pimples, acne or waka – waka and away match. You can always request for her to be replaced or return her back to her family and request a refund. After all, guarantee is a life time

And errrnn (clearing my throat the posh way) just to remind you that after you pay the initial deposit and get the delivery of your consignment, remember you have no excuse to default on your payment. In the event of missing a payment your wife’s families have the rights to repossess their daughters by using the repo-man

From the archives of the mischievous imagination of a crasee babay,
www.still crazyafteralltheseyears-xim.blogpot.com
@ximena09